Today, my father yelled at me for changing one of his two programmable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, #1 is for sober driving and #2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, while on the road, my dad called twice before I pulled over and answered the phone. He first got mad at me for not answering, and then again later for "paying attention to my phone" while driving. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML
Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
A lot of people drive drunk because their judgement is ****** when they're drunk. Clearly your dad plans to do it, even beforehand - seems like he's quite a retard.
Boddmon 0
Everyone is different, I know a lot of people who claim that it's easier to drive when high because you can focus however it's just as easy to become focused on something else while you're driving. I could be "high as balls" too and then suddenly notice a very appealing billboard for Twinkies and begin thinking about them. "mmm Twinkies" *crashes car*
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Comments (109)
gearsawar2 0
lol first
ProtoBuster_1 5
Good for you... now get a life.
PeopleRSoDumb 0
How is this an FML? You got yelled at... Don't change your dads seats. OMG NO.
dante0220 0
2nd. and go dad lol
BeeSkwaird 0
How does one "go dad"? Is that like going crazy or going hog-wild or going bananas? Commas are your friends!
jandrews10 0
Thank you grammar Nazi.
BeeSkwaird 0
I'm Jewish.
slushpuppy123 0
grammar facist then.
hunterwould 0
Grammar nazis are not anti-semitic (most aren't) they're anti-illiterate. ; )
b182link 0
74 ftw
Disbelief1 0
Third. Btw you shouldn't let your dad drive drunk/high
IPityTheFool 0
It doesn't matter he if he endangers his life because his Dad is a real man and is living on the edge he's ******* hardcore lol your Dad epically wins and everyone saying this is a weak FML can shove it up their ass because you're just jealous
kenbear 0
i think im about to shove a gun up your ass you stupid bitch . hes not just endangering himself, hes endangering everyone. its real ******* stupid to drink and drive , so someone who encourages it must be a reeaal ******* douche bag
null_fml 11
A lot of people drive drunk because their judgement is ****** when they're drunk. Clearly your dad plans to do it, even beforehand - seems like he's quite a retard.
postaltubealex 0
Nothing would be greater than for him to get a DUI, and be found with weed on his person.
24788 7
Wow, good excuse.
itouchguy360 3
Wait till he learns what cops think about this. (gets jailed)
Luz826 0
Sleeping right upon the wheel?
Brey1013 0
your dad sounds like the MAN! :D all these negative posters should just lighten the **** up.
ProtoBuster_1 5
@ #10 - Perhaps, if you were in the OP's place, you would feel the same way he did. Then again, since you're a troll... you'd probably crash the car and kill yourself while driving drunk & high.
spiderman0606 0
I love how people take things face value.
ronjonathon 0
exactly
NixKuH 0
yeee stay down dad!
thesunshotme 0
Rotfl. :'D
gobbledegook 0
lol