Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML
Today, I heard my sisters fighting downstairs, so I went down to see what all the commotion was about. As I entered the room, one of them picked me up and threw me at the other one. FML
Today, my 35 year-old sister, who has no job or life, came downstairs and told me she knows I can hear her thoughts. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, I had to listen for over 10 minutes as my brother and grandmother discussed how much they hate me. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on my floor. I live with my family and it was a hot summer day. Woke up in a weird position, drooling and wearing only a bra and mini shorts. I looked up and saw my thirteen year-old sister and her friends chilling all around my room. I tried to yell at them but my voice was too rusty. FML
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML
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Top comments
MrSarary 26
You've got the advantage now, listen to their plan and make your own!! In all seriousness this is pretty scary.
LOLouis_fml 24
Sounds like a killer conversation!
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Comments (80)
Sansa_fml 38
scare the shit out of them.
idekflowers 6
Kinda scary. But at least now you know their plan so you can be one step ahead.
burninsnow 23
Listen to what they say and do it to them in advance.
simply_chan3l 13
Well, It depends on the age of your siblings. 4-7 yrs, mmm kinda expected. However, 14 and older, passes the stage of sibling rivalry and instantly turns into just run...
Pandacupcakelove 26
Guess they've found common ground
RebeccaRFT 18
Siblings always bond the most when they are planning their oldest sibling's demise
wakemeupplease 21
You better run.... kids are dangerous but still can look innocent especially if they pull out the puss look :p
pabj208 23
How were they going to do it?
not_for_u 10
For real thats what i want to know
Rozeyyy 25
Haha that sounds adorable....Well depending on how old they are...If any of them are older than 10 I'd be worried..
Death69 24
Just barge in and tell them. "I know your plans. That's why I have a plan set up, that if I die. No matter how or when it happens. You 2 are to blame. My plans are VERY detailed and blame you illicitly. So, go ahead...Do your best. And enjoy your jail time. Getting sodomized by Bubba and Bertha on a regular basis. OH! And by the way...Sleep with one eye open from now on. Because, chances are...I will get you, before you get ME!"
Zebediabolical 45
I don't think illicitly means what you seem to think it means. Explicitly or Implicitly is probably the word you're looking for