Today, I went to explore a beach that was rumoured to have big crabs on it instead of the usual small tide pool crabs. I found out that the rumours were true went I went to flip over a rock, which was in fact not a rock. I now have to explain to a doctor how I ended up needing stitches again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML
Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML
Today, I was swimming at the beach. At the end of the day, I felt a huge hard lump in between my toes. When I looked closer and pushed on it, it sounded and felt exactly like a bean bag. I had a blister from the day before and it had filled with sand. I had to cut it open to pour the sand out. FML
Today, after an 8-month wait, I went on my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML
Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML
Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML
Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML
Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML
Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I finally had a chance to get outside after receiving shrapnel to my leg. My crutches had not yet arrived so I didn't want to risk it, but my buddies said they had my back. We went to the seaside and I sat down as they say they'd be right back. It started to rain and everyone forgot me. I can stand, but not walk. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Doctors aren't judgmental -- what's going to be difficult is discussing with future dates why you needed treatment for crabs.
Glowworm56 27
Smart crab. It disguised itself as a rock, and obviously preys on the fingers of foolish humans.
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Comments (24)
RichardPencil 32
Doctors aren't judgmental -- what's going to be difficult is discussing with future dates why you needed treatment for crabs.
Akitakat 31
Classic!
unsealingkale 18
there were a lot of things someone could've commented on this post and I don't think anyone could've done better than this
appletreee 30
Oh, as unfortunate as that is, maybe next time you'll learn to listen to the rumors. Hope you heal fast, OP.
Glowworm56 27
Smart crab. It disguised itself as a rock, and obviously preys on the fingers of foolish humans.
Dave_Davington 34
That is just so inappropriate! You should sit down and have a long and serious talk with those crabs.
Ash_U78 12
Again? Now we also need the story of how you needed them the first time! Sorry about the stitches OP!
reneetlovesyou 30
I wonder if that left OP a little shell shocked. Slightly crabby at the very least.
max367 27
Was it a rock lobster?
Dave_Davington 34
It can't be, because it wasn't under a dock.
Akitakat 31
Reminds me of one of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies where Captain Jack was on the "other side" & saw a rock turn into a crab. He then abruptly passed out! lol
TaysDarkLust 11
So it wasn't your horse, nor the drugged out guy at work. Did you need stitches because of the cat jumping on your head?
Starzak 18
I just posted a similar comment. Now I feel like I took part in plagiarism of some sort.
species4872 20
A bit sad when you catch the crabs or they catch you.