Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML
Today, I went to the drugstore on my bike. The chain came off, the pedal punctured the top of my foot and I was bleeding a lot. To add insult to injury, the ATM inside was broken. I got gauze instead of the cash I came for. FML
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Top comments
wordly 0
Ouch! Bad scene. YDI a little bit for not seeing that coming when you rode without a seat.
paks7 0
umm....use a seat cover?? why the hell would you ride a bike without a seat?
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Comments (181)
Person1233 13
He probably doesn't want a female doctor because he doesn't want a hot chick seeing him in a pathetic position, being in that much pain...
littlegirllove 0
YDI, why would you ride your bike w.o the seat cover?! o_O
Qup 0
too bad you didn't sterilize yourself- you could have been put up for a Darwin award. stupid much? betcha weren't wearing a helmet either.
mitchelldef 0
I can only say one thing. YOU GOT OWNED by metal rods!!!
gamerdude94 2
Why is everyone assuming the nurse is going to be hot? What if it's an old 50-year-old nurse?
jnic 0
HAHAH yeah guys. I'm sure that when you have the excruciating pain of a needle and stitches going through your scrotum, the gender of your doctor is what you're fussing over. Stitches in your scrotum wouldn't be ****** if it was a female, right? And getting your balls touched by a hot girl at the doctors is sooo awesome... mmm, the word "yearly physical" makes me explode in my pants. For this guy, it's "scrotum stitches". Hahahahah :D sorry, but pre-med and nursing schools aren't going to screen their students based on physical attraction or gender. You're getting good medical care, be thankful.
EcGyMz 0
dude what are you talking about that's fantastic. unless your a girl. in that case tell me all about it.
qasw 0
dude the only, ONLY!!! way that would be bad is if they were ugly and fat
edible1 0
Maybe he was worried he'd get an erection :p
equastriangirl 0
oww fyl but use the seat cover next time