Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML
Today, I went to the drugstore on my bike. The chain came off, the pedal punctured the top of my foot and I was bleeding a lot. To add insult to injury, the ATM inside was broken. I got gauze instead of the cash I came for. FML
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Top comments
wordly 0
Ouch! Bad scene. YDI a little bit for not seeing that coming when you rode without a seat.
paks7 0
umm....use a seat cover?? why the hell would you ride a bike without a seat?
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Comments (181)
LASERZ7 4
why is that an FML? Ur so lucky
austinwyke 2
someone must be embarrassed about their little weiner.
shooterbuddy 8
Sounds like a load of balls
Fylminesawsome 5
Why would you prefer a man fondling your balls?? You're nuts. (haha I did it)
armystrongbaby 0
What are you.... gay?
jimbob_76592 5
Why do the female doctors suck? That'd be my preference
Kennuckle_fml 6
I can understand why you would have wanted a make doctor. It's the same as a girl, If you needed to get fully naked I'm sure you'd rather have a female doctor there
jajajakala 1
I feel you. I'm a girl and I had an infected sinus on my tailbone so I had to get surgery and all the doctors and nurses cuttin up my butt were male.
batliner56 17
Sounds like you were stealing that bike
TheGamingGamer 28
After the first sentence I immediately hit YDI.