Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML
Today, I went to the drugstore on my bike. The chain came off, the pedal punctured the top of my foot and I was bleeding a lot. To add insult to injury, the ATM inside was broken. I got gauze instead of the cash I came for. FML
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Top comments
wordly 0
Ouch! Bad scene. YDI a little bit for not seeing that coming when you rode without a seat.
paks7 0
umm....use a seat cover?? why the hell would you ride a bike without a seat?
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Comments (181)
ssnickel 0
Every comment that's something along the lines of "duuuude i'd rather have a hot chick playing with my balls than a guy... how gay!" are really pissing me off. Medical procedures are not sexual in any way. Even if the doctor was a "hot female," it's not like sex is part of their job at all. You're there to get surgery, not to get laid. I can't believe how immature half the people commenting on this FML are.
gamerdude94 2
I agree. And they're not "playing" with your balls anyway. They're stitching them.
gamerdude94 2
I agree. And they're not "playing" with your balls anyway. They're stitching them.
bigfml 0
OP maybe you meant to post this over on www.MyLifeIsG.com
Vitamin_C 0
As opposed to a girl who was a male? teehee
gamerdude94 2
Who was a male? Do you mean who has a male?
jnic 0
hahah i think he means "who actually has a scrotum". but yeah, weird wording.
gamerdude94 2
I understand why you would want a male doctor. At least if he were male, he actually has one, so it's easier to sympathize. And if the girl was female, I couldn't get sexual thoughts out of my mind the whole time. It's just weird for a girl to see you naked for a non-sexual purpose (and I assume the same is for woman and gynecologists.)
plexico 4
Your worries shouldn't be that the female doctors are going to spread the word to all womanhood about your scrotum (whether it is tiny or wrinkly or mishapen); your worry is that they will spread the word what an incredible dumb-ass you are!
gamerdude94 2
Eh. I go through these comments, and I can't help but think the people that are defending him are gay. But trust me, when put in that situation, you will prefer a doctor of the same sex.
fullcarbon54 0
Ydi for riding w/o a seat cover. You must be retarded.
Mr_Kennedy 4
What's with all the scrotum injuries?
lettertjes 0
I can assure you a needle going through your scrotum does not hurt less when a man wields it.
greggsansone 1
Dude I'm a little unclear on the "seat cover" thing. Maybe you should ride a big wheel. Are you gay? The only reason you would prefer a male to see your skin pistol is because you'd want him to fire it!
thepulse100 0
He probably doesn't want to get hard DX