Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I came home sick. After a while I received a text message. I thought it was a sweet "How are you baby?" from my boyfriend. It wasn't. He sent: "Hey, I'm going to work now. Please do not disturb. Thank you!" FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend. About 30 minutes into dinner and I see my exes come in, one by one. In the end, they were all sitting at the same table. My boyfriend got up and went to the bathroom. He came back and sat down with them. Apparently my boyfriend went through my phone and called all of them. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my boyfriend, who screamed at me for being a f-ing liar and never taking time for him. He'd called my work and knew I wasn't there as I said I'd be. He was right - I was lying. I'd been driving for the past 10 hours to his family's beach house to surprise him. FML
Today, after spending a day in the ER and a day in hospital, I was recovering from emergency surgery. My boyfriend left to eat and didn't come back. He texted me 4 hours later that he was drinking with his friends and that he loved his "brown eyed girl". My eyes aren't brown. FML
Today, after my man told me to get the dishes done and clean up the kitchen, he got mad at me because I didn’t answer my phone when our son needed medicine that was downstairs. I didn’t hear it ring because I was throwing out the trash, cleaning out the fridge, and washing the dishes, like I was told to do. FML
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Top comments
yeahthatsrite 0
dump that asshole
MaryFairy 3
wow... bastard! dump his jerk ass
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Comments (135)
MrWinner 0
Well this is completely your fault. He wants to eat. And how did you get hurt. There aren't any hazards between the bedroom and the kitchen
SBD1138 4
I smell a breakup
frankenhole 0
35 missed calls? how far apart were they? he might already have starved to death. seriously though, what a waste of life. coldcuts. cheese. bread. boom. fed.
1337chick 4
I'm so sick of these "make me a sandwich" comments. It was funny a few years ago, but at this point, it's just an obnoxious comment. Adding a "lol. hurrr" does not make it okay; it's just a way of masking your misogyny. I personally wish more men knew how to cook. I have a friend (a chemist actually, so perhaps its not surprising) that makes completely delicious meals better than I ever could, and it's one of the most attractive qualities I've ever witnessed. OP, I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend is so egotistic that he can't see beyond his belly. I really hope you'll find a nice guy who appreciates your talents (be they in the kitchen or otherwise) enough to be grateful, not expectant.
jjrebel26 0
did u not tell him about your surgery?
mitchn60 6
You meant EX boyfriend, right? He sounds abusive.
JacksonCampbell 9
atta boy!
Phoenix1023 3
ur bf needs an operation. or two. anything ending in -tomy.
anavv 0
break up time
sapphirestar 0
did you tell him that you have an operation? :( that's so uncaring of your bf.