Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML
Today, I was telling my dad how my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. He responded by blowing his nose into his hand, wiping it in my hair, then saying "There, a REAL problem to whine about." FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says, "Oh, honey. I don't care… Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML
Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML
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Top comments
oppawoppa 9
Tell him you just had sex. He'll wake up (;
Deannie88 6
I'm sorry to hear that OP. Parents can be real helpful at times, and sometimes not so much... But they still love you! Cheer up! There's plenty other fish in the sea. He's not worth waiting for if he did that to you!
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Comments (122)
oppawoppa 9
Tell him you just had sex. He'll wake up (;
BrokenDreamer24 15
And if that didn't work, say your pregnant.
kamikrazy 6
And if that doesn't work, say your getting married.
GracesDelirium 9
*you're >.> Sorry. I couldn't help it.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
At least the dad tried to act like he cares. My girlfriend's dad just tells her to suck it up whenever she cries...
TarieBoo 2
51-hopefully you're not cheating on your girlfriend._.
Rommel1942 9
He admitted it probably to say he was sorry and wanted another chance. At least he was honest, at least give him that. Her choice to give the 2nd chance though
Ch0sen 13
Tough call, personally I don't really believe in second chances when it comes to cheating. There's a reason they say that habits die hard - if you're able to cheat once, doing it a second time is exponentially easier; the same applies to almost anything else.
miyaviichan 27
Once I put the mattress covers and bedsheets on my little sister's bunk beds (both queen size), which was right after our parents bought them. I haven't been able to do it since.
rsunshine2020 13
Going back to a cheating ex is like reading a book again.. You already know how it's going to end. But it is hard to decide since he was open and told the OP
brill33 7
And if that doesn't work, say you're pregnant, getting married, and you're gay.
YoTengoTomatoes 7
111- um, can you explain how you can get pregnant of you're gay?
doglover569 0
Wow I would have slapped your dad... Haha or put something in his mouth while he was sleeping! But just yell you are pregnant... He'll pay attention!
dominic1221 6
So uh, was posting "wow" just to get yourself a high comment spot while you thought up something almost as stupid to say, or did my eyes play tricks on me??
MCRaddict15 15
If I slapped my dad I'm pretty sure he'd whip out the belt, even though he's against most domestic violence.
doglover569 0
9- I think your eyes.. Haha I didn't post just "wow" haha that'd be ridiculous
robinhood007 9
Actually you did. I saw it too.
5t3ff1k4h 47
16 - I think "wow" was posted, and then the poster edited their comment to make it longer.
Herculesninja27 5
Wow stop being assholes
5t3ff1k4h 47
Wait, 16, I just realized you ARE the OP of this thread. My mistake. Why would someone comment saying "you just posted 'wow'" if you hadn't just posted 'wow'? Don't play stupid.
robinhood007 9
We're not mean. Just telling it like it is.
Soloman212 28
Wow, is it really that hard for you to come up with a decent comment the first time around?
Soloman212 28
(The joke was that I originally posted wow then edited it. Not sure if explaining it kills it, but it otherwise had a very short window of delivery.)
AlexaWuzHere 31
It's not really that big of a deal, there's not a point in bothering her about it. I actually like that she edited it to make it longer, it's more interesting to read
robinhood007 9
52 - it's the fact of why she posted only wow in the first place. She wanted her comment to be one of the first and so just said wow because it was quick and easy instead of using her brain and coming up with a real comment before posting. I don't know if you noticed but people on FML take comments pretty seriously.
doglover569 0
To clear things up, I never posted just wow (as far as I know) I don't know how it only showed up wow but I wrote all that out and pressed send! Not sure how it got messed up in the process but I can do better than just a wow and I did not go back and edit it to make it longer! Sorry again!!
GovernorGeneral 8
So what. Everyone does it. Stop pretending, fools.
robinhood007 9
Well it seems like everyone does, including you, or else you wouldn't have commented. FML is for entertainment and if this is something people find entertaining, so be it. If you don't think so then ignore it and move on.
onlychildFTW 34
You guys argue weird things on here. So they posted wow and then edited it. Big deal. Get over it! at least they didn't leave "wow" only.
christiangirl 5
dominic1221 Either you can't see or read because she obviously wrote more than WOW,just saying .
Deannie88 6
I'm sorry to hear that OP. Parents can be real helpful at times, and sometimes not so much... But they still love you! Cheer up! There's plenty other fish in the sea. He's not worth waiting for if he did that to you!
PrimeEvilTahir 24
...Snores.... .... Oh is the FML over? Sorry OP what was that you were saying about your boyfriend... He's a good chap? Yep... Now I gotta go...
KILLERTOAST13 4
That's it? YOU GET THAT CRAP ON A DOVE CANDY WRAPPER! Illiterate chimps could have thought of that! people are taking their time to read this and THAT'S what you type? WHAT A WASTE!
zine_fml 5
3 you're cute :/
robinhood007 9
That's pretty shitty considering he asked you to tell him. But dads with be dads. I wouldn't let this make your obviously already shitty day shittier. Just laugh it off, even though that may seem difficult right now.
blacksswan 10
Dads will be dads**
robinhood007 9
Thanks 21. I didn't even notice that and I proof read it. At least my meaning is quite obvious.
kyangel 1
Tell him Ur pregnant see how quick he sits up ;))
KILLERTOAST13 4
If he was snoring when she was telling him about her cheating boyfriend than who knows what other things he won't give a crap about?
BAND_HAMMER 0
Smash his skull in with a baseball bat
SystemofaBlink41 27
Was anyone else expecting a "puts on sunglasses" joke?
perdix 31
You mean like: Sounds like a shitty *lowers sunglasses* Zzzzz?
dude1122332 9
*glasses fall off* huh? *farts*
cyanidesandwich 21
Sharpie a penis on his forehead, then take a picture of his face when he looks in a mirror
phatdaddy62 23
That's ridiculous but I laughed! I guess I'm forever the adolescent.
br0ccoli 15
The best way to get over someone is to erase their existence from your life. Burn pictures. Rip apart letters. Donate his gifts. A guy who can't see how awesome you are doesn't deserve you or your ******'s magical powers. Oxytocin > Crack. Chemists need to get that shit in pill form, ASAP.
journeytotheend 16
Sounds like a statement that a 16 year old would make
br0ccoli 15
Sounds like a statement a recently broken-up-with person would make.
Mikeskinner 7
Sounds like a statement someone with a sense of humor would make.
SweetCelestia 1
Sounds like a statement someone who wants to continue a comment chain would make.
BAND_HAMMER 0
Black people...
zine_fml 5
Boner :)
94yhy 8
Sounds like someone who doesn't have a clue what oxytocin is...
coolboy675 16
Sounds like the color red
jellycorn 13
Sounds like unicorn farts
MDashwood 4
That's when you say 'Oh dad by the way I need you to (insert what you want here)' and then tell him later he agreed to it during your talk.
olpally 33
As if getting your heart broken isn't bad enough, your dad decides to take a snooze behind sunglasses while you're pouring your heart out to him. Super sad face D: *hugs op* the FML community supports you. :)
phatdaddy62 23
Dude, are you trying to get laid?
olpally 33
No.. Wtf is wrong with you???
olpally 33
FML clearly states that this is not a dating website. Why would I bother trying? I just made a comment trying to support op, in no way am I trying to get laid. you're stupid. Jeez
olpally 33
Just because of what I said and showing some compassion to op means I'm trying to get laid?? You guys are ridiculous... I was just being nice and kind to op and your minds go right to the gutter... Way for both of you to show your immaturity here... Just stupid.