Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I learned that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML
Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML
Today, I found out that you can ruin a $500 computer with a few stray drops of 100% acetone nail polish remover on the keyboard. FML
Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML
Today, I accidentally used wood stain instead of hairspray. Surprisingly, it doesn't come out that easily. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
de_cobrae 0
what color is your hair?
katiemarie23 0
Yeah, that sucks. I could say you deserved it but i've done the same damn thing.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
lilmisslovely13 15
so buy a new table?
TheColorOfAir 3
haha
JenL_fml 7
Must have spilled a lot of nail polish there, huh? Messy painter... It's okay. Just re-varnish it.
Lynzwood 0
34 please put some ******* clothes on! that's just nasty
applejane 3
dummy, i've done this! you loosen the paper from the table with water, not nail polish remover!
xcowboys 0
why would you put nail polish remover on a place where you eat? -.-
mygodmary 0
I think that's why they make non-acetone nail polish remover:)
SarahCrazy_fml 0
it doesn't bleach the table retard. it removes the stain and finish.
Riemurasia 0
Damn girl, how much did you spill?! It's not that hard to only paint your nails. I never spilt a drop, so I can't really understand how you could fail at this. Unless you went into shock or have Parkinson's, you don't really have the right to complain.
JanisEvans 10
You managed to spill loads of nail polish under the newspaper you had laid out? Exactly how blonde are you?