Today, I was putting red nail polish on my nails and put a newspaper on the table to make sure that it didn't spill. I later discovered the nail polish made the newspaper stick to the table. I scrubbed nail polish remover on it, thinking it would help but instead bleached the table. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML
Today, I learned that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, I did the best at-home manicure I’ve ever had. I took my time and it looked like it was done professionally. As soon as I put on the top coat and waited for it to dry, my stomach rumbled and I had to run to take a dump. The polish smeared everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML
Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML
Today, I found out that you can ruin a $500 computer with a few stray drops of 100% acetone nail polish remover on the keyboard. FML
Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML
Today, I accidentally used wood stain instead of hairspray. Surprisingly, it doesn't come out that easily. FML
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Top comments
de_cobrae 0
what color is your hair?
katiemarie23 0
Yeah, that sucks. I could say you deserved it but i've done the same damn thing.
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Comments (172)
de_cobrae 0
what color is your hair?
Isabel312 0
what?
Isabel312 0
color?
TheUnknown_fml 9
probably blonde
OhhDamnnnnn 3
I was thinking the same thing(:
DVRP 0
awesome
babyale760 0
lol :D))
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I was blonde once, back when Kennedy was president and free love was... well running free. man those were the days.
Heather_x0x0 6
LOL!!!!!
docscientist 10
Oh, cool, graced by yet another blonde joke.
nailpolish_freak 0
Brown -.-
abbi96x 0
How did you manage to miss your nails & get it on the newspaper anyway..?
Reinhard_Xenon 0
XD
RJM_isaBeast 0
90- I hear ya..
flipflipflipidel 0
hahahaha I read nuts instead of nails
meegsiiee 5
That has nothing to do with it.. And that wasnt a blonde moment.. How was she suppose to know.. YDI
katiemarie23 0
Yeah, that sucks. I could say you deserved it but i've done the same damn thing.
redbluegreen 41
I give you credit for your honesty. I didn't realise people got that messy with nail polish though.
ShyAnn29 15
I've done that too lol
MakeAScene 4
I'm a victim of nail polish remover on furnishings too. They should invent a solution that removes paint, but doesn't **** up the paint on furniture.
robc32ca 4
2 & 72 how much nail polish did you have to spill to cause the newspaper to stick to the table? did you use a roller instead of the intended applicator?
docscientist 10
You could always not paint your nails on a wood surface.
insanesna1l 0
yeah ive done it too. damn it, ill have to get back to you, the woman in my well isnt putting on her moisturiser
iceisnice 0
yup. I've done that, too.
jess6blondie9 3
Blonde moment.
de_cobrae 0
you know about those?
fgwrxfiend 11
^win lol
fgwrxfiend 11
^^win
jess6blondie9 3
Yes, I know them very well.
man_in_black08 28
some attitude u got there
Mad_Alien 8
lol blonde biootch xD
jess6blondie9 3
Sometimes:)
de_cobrae 0
lol. :)
AllThatHit 7
total opposite of what was expected who would've known?
PsychoMerk 0
well ... you probably had a cheapass table to begin with. >_>
un1corns 15
You're an idiot. Nail polish remover on a wooden table will strip the stain/remove the finish... regardless of whether it was a 'cheapass' table or not.
Urklee 0
you are a bitch lol, you probably know of a cheap ass table yourself to say that about someone else :)
DocBastard 40
Ooh sick burn, making fun of someone's table like that! Damn, that's gotta hurt!
MegamiKaosu 28
I know right I'd be so heart broken and cry in a corner...
woosah 16
if someone made fun of my table I'd be real upset... for sure... think before making fun of peoples furniture k
petite_amber150 0
what
IIRoxieII 12
that's what I'm thinking :/
Adorlee 11
At least you get to go furniture shopping now. furniture shopping is fun :)
Mad_Alien 8
lol hoe
KristinaKreme 0
What's your problem? First you call a pretty blonde a "biootch" then you call this girl a hoe. Jealousy is an ugly color. Keep your opinions to yourself. I probably have a lot of thoughts about you but I don't go bashing it out on the Internet.
jess6blondie9 3
You go Kristina! I think it's funny how she insults people and puts "lol" like she's trying to make it not so rude or something. Girls these days(:
fatgirllovesfml 0
please feel free to share your thoughts #32
KristinaKreme 0
Haha thanks guys. I just got pretty pissed because of her acting like that against innocent girls. She has no right and I wanted her to realize that. :]
Mad_Alien 8
hahaha oh wow. I get bored sometimes it's fun to see peoples reactions when I'm mean like that. well. you guys shouldn't take it so harsh there are A LOT of people out there so much worse than I pretend to be. sucks for you, you can't take it
KristinaKreme 0
I know there are a lot of people like that. Sadly, even ones that are worse. Though, that doesn't mean you should act like that as well. I'm sure you wouldn't like someone calling you that(even if it's a "joke")over the Internet. Us girls need to stick together.
Mad_Alien 8
actually i do have that right it's called freedom of speech. it's kinda like the kkk. they are greatly frowned apon but they can't get arrested for saying things. I have no desire to talk to random girls who "know it all" so bye
KristinaKreme 0
Ahem, I don't know it all actually. It's called having self-respect and respect among others which you darling do not have. Freedom of speech doesn't allow you to go say shit to other people. Learn some manners before you post any comments.
jess6blondie9 3
"It's fun to see what people's reactions are?" Hmm. I think you're just a bitch. I don't care that you called me a "blonde biootch," because I can be. But I'm not outright rude to people just because I feel like seeing what their reactions are? I don't understand the way girls think anymore.
Mad_Alien 8
hmm. your right. I've lost respect for others because of what the great people out there did to me and screwed my life. I was raised differently. I have manners I just choose not to use them once in a while. so I'm sorry I really didn't expect this big of a deal from people :)
redbluegreen 41
Mmm, I see the trolls got out again.
KristinaKreme 0
I understand Alan. You have to do your job
Mad_Alien 8
well just so u know I don't support the kkk in any way I actually cried when I saw one video of em, yes yes I am a bitch and you know what if you did write I'm a **** it wouldnt make much difference in my life just one more person being like that. hey, I started out like you. your lucky.
Thanatos1206 0
57 maybe their owner's recently watched Free Willy? And "freedom of speech"? Are you reading your comments aloud? Cause if not it would be freedom of press, you crunchy banana.
jess6blondie9 3
Hun, if you had manners, you wouldn't be calling girls hoes for no reason. Obviously you were raised differently. How I was raised, you treat people with respect if you want respect back. You're making yourself look like the bigger bitch than anyone you have called a bitch here. Go back to your hole, no one wants you here.
Thanatos1206 0
Nevermind, comments are gone.
jess6blondie9 3
Dang comments got deleted :/.
ShyAnn29 15
good point!
Tcaret300 12
They need to buy stain, that's all.
Coconutscyclone 0
i love buying lamps, lamps and lighting. ^•^
dtgr02 4
nice
Viciousvixen_21 0
ha! I did the same thing once. lol
wtferror 0
lol!!! fyl too :)
Livinia 11
I'm going to say you deserved it.
lilmisslovely13 15
yer perty :)
this_female 0
haha sucks to be you(: