Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, at the DMV, I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and that my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, placing my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, I was detained by a stubborn cop who swore he saw me sprinting away after shoplifting. I’m missing part of my right foot, and walk with a cane and a limp, I haven’t sprinted anyplace in 12 years. Not even showing him my foot convinced him. I was sat in his car over an hour. FML
Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML
Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
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Top comments
SaintJimmy 0
What dipshit security guard can't recognise a cane?
allmidnighteyes 11
Are you Dr. Gregory House?
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Comments (79)
firebird94 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
this isnt so bad but still stinks lol
hey0_fml 0
http://www.ihatemindy.com/index.php?c=viral&m=index&id=7e70fbef0036fa78d128c30847c441af
bobnorris 0
I didn't know they had mentally challenged security guards
ryguy1997 0
i'm one foot not feet. (just pointing it out, don't get your knickers in a knot.
ryguy1997 0
at first I thought it said mental stick. but then I saw paralyzed and I reread it. damn antiflood! wt... (what the ...
YANKSFAN4EVER 0
sorry op
SaintJimmy 0
What dipshit security guard can't recognise a cane?
scateice 0
Fail -.-
SaintJimmy 0
?
scateice 0
uefhif
SaintJimmy 0
What fails?
scateice 0
4th!
Anonanimal 0
how is this an FML? so you had to talk to security boohoo. get a more cane-like cane
White667 0
I agree there, but more importantly you should sue 'them.
ryguy1997 0
sue? on what grounds? they were a little dumb, ok. but it's not like they tackled op.
Caitlyn2 0
Your retarded.
allmidnighteyes 11
Are you Dr. Gregory House?
wakawakawaka_fml 0
House would come up with a better FML.
allmidnighteyes 11
True
BB7 0
house would be able to write a FML that insults anybody who reads it and makes him look cooler than anyone
Sakke 4
#13 said the truth. That post is all you need to read. And poor you not-house-but-the-original-poster.
Skull_300 0
Did you pull a "Bruce Lee" on their ass?
rodents1000 0
i saw that. now its on here! wow
perdix 31
They do make canes here that can shoot a bullet. A metal cane would raise an eyebrow here in Texas. You should use a nice harmless-looking wooden cane to get around. . . and then bludgeon the security guard when he's not looking. Just for giving you shit.
Gwyndion 9
Just with you, differential anybody? -scribles on the wall- - Paranoia - Delusions
imjoe615 0
My ex-girlfriend cheated on me and I'm here to get revenge with a little blackmail. http://ihatejade.com/?id=wlmmn1e0vv4yi2sr1fl1aov6g6uzt3
failure99 0
http://christy.ihateyounow.com/index.php?c=viral&m=index&id=7e70fbef0036fa78d128c30847c441af