Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
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Top comments
pepper2394 0
Um...I don't think cats like being hung upside down.
DoomJeff91 2
Insert ∞ "shitty day" and "pussy" jokes here.
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Comments (195)
quTzal 0
Who the f*** do you people think you are? Disrespecting Steve Irwin. He was a great man and helped animals in so many ways - please respect him. R.I.P
Witchcraft_fml 5
The people we think we are, are probably the people we are. If we aren't the people we think we are, than we are not the people we are supposed to be. But if we are the people we think we are, that means we are the people we are supposed to be. This is who the f*** we think we are.
Jotne 0
I sometimes think I AM Steve Irwin, but that might be the drugs. Also, the man got killed by a fish, after a lifetime of pissing off every dangerous animal he could chase down and molest. A fish that, while potentially dangerous, is very docile by nature and almost never harm anyone. A goddamn fish. I reserve the right to laugh at that, and I think Steve would appreciate the irony as well. Other than that, I respect the man immensely - how could I not? He's touched more animals in naughty places than most men have women. That's quite an achievement.
gigi37 0
Yeah, but at least instant karma shatted on the OP
athenivanidx 0
Witchcraft: Comment WIN!!!!!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!
Witchcraft_fml 5
Thanks :P
Moemoemoe_fml 0
YDI.
Masha8988 0
Okay, first off, why the shit would you hold your poor cat like that? So you're saying it was meowing frantically, and you KNEW IT, and you kept holding it upside-*******-down? Dude, I don't play with my cats often, I just pet them, but I'm pretty sure holding your cat upside down isn't a guarantee for an enjoyable time. At least for the cat. So re-think yourself and YDI, 100%
kristen180 0
omg u cruel pathetic jerk. this should be considered animal cruelty. and ur posting it on fMl? more like f your cat's life. i feel sorry ur cat. it honestly makes me wanna cry that u did that. the cat had diarrhea cuz u scared it so bad. it trusted u as its owner. thats like ur mother scaring u to the point where u think ur gonna die. i wanna puke as im thinking about this. u r a disgusting human being
jp3546 0
thats such a mean thing! how could u do that to a kitty?!!! u deserve that poop
xclegend613 0
Why does any one even care it's a worthless cat. seriously cats are the most annoying animals in the world. find some friends you stupid tree hugging cat loving faggots. i have a question for you. "WHAT'S WORSE THAN 10 CATS NAILED TO 10 TREES? 1 CAT NAILED TO 10 TREES :D. **** CATS!!!!
omghehehe 0
sighhhh..... yes, ur definitely exercising ur right of opinion and feelings. im exercising mine. just because u obviously hate cats doesnt mean other people feel the same. idk what a cat has ever done to u to instill such hate. Please, dont ever get a cat or cause any harm to them. good luck in ur life
Jotne 0
Obvious troll is obvious. Fail.
open_hearted 0
wow, you should not have a cat. everyone with cats knows to stop doing whatever the hell theyre doing if their cats doesnt stop meowing you absolutly without a doubt deserve it, and i hope your cat ***** on your pillow every night before you go to bed.
nerdlover 0
AHAHAHAHA YDI I hope my cat does this to my roomie. He constantly harasses her even when we tell him to stop.
cryssycakesx3 23
wow. that's funny to you? I'd find that cat a home where a grown man doesn't harass it.. wtf is wrong with you.