Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
Today, my cat likes to share my pillow at night. I guess she was extra comfortable last night, because she didn't bother getting off it to hack up a hairball. I woke up because I rolled my face onto it. FML
Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML
Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML
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Top comments
Rodville 28
I renamed my asshole to barfy mcbarfface
cuz803 46
There must've been beef between you too. That's a cat's way of spitting on a human's face.
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Comments (4)
TwoBytesCarley 27
Cats are the assholes of the animal kingdom; you either learn to live with them and all of their picky assholery, or you get a dog.
cuz803 46
There must've been beef between you too. That's a cat's way of spitting on a human's face.
Rodville 28
I renamed my asshole to barfy mcbarfface
OnReceivingEnd 18
Got news for you. She WAS smiling. Cats are evil, malicious creatures born from the spawn of Hell.