Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML
Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
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Top comments
phandomofthopera 8
Hamsters are notoriously well endowed with their sackage. I work at a petstore that only sells boy small animals (so they don't breed) and one time a hamster was using the balls of another sleeping hamster as a pillow. To each his own i guess
ncparry 18
Hamsters are spawn of the devil, I once had two and then one because the other hamster decided to eat the other hamster and trail it's entrails all over the cage....
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Comments (31)
Talented73 54
Aw, balls!
lucasjames22 8
you'll live
Personguy01 11
That is the greatest thing I have ever seen.
Personguy01 11
*heard
Rxselyn 17
Thank you! Even though I’m like a year late in replying lol
MikeyB240 7
******* furry
GhostFox 34
At least you didn't bring home a pregnant girl, her have babies, pick them up, and then come back to them having been eaten. Because that happens far more often than people think, with hamsters, mice, and rats. So if you ever see baby hamsters- don't ******* touch them. Momma will chow down. If he's around, so will papa. And many hamsters will happily kill and cannibalize other adults if they encounter them. Rabbits actually usually don't care about the scent rub off, but they'll instead murder and eat their offspring if they get slightly stressed or feel crowded. Almost every rabbit gets stressed after their first litter, so you can guess what most of them do to their first litters... and if the buck is in the cage, HE'S very likely to eat them regardless of any other factors. Or not even eat them, but just murder them, sometimes by slinging them around by the head or neck and slamming them into stuff like a dog with a toy. ... Look, my agriculture class was kind of ****** up, and the only thing it really taught me was how to take care of plants, and that rodents and rabbits are ******* merciless. The only thing that was successfully bred were the plants, and most of them still died.
jbuckets_404 39
OP, was this your first time handling a mammal's balls? ;-)