Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
Today, my mom wanted to surprise me by buying me a hamster. When I got into her car, I was actually surprised and even said, "Hi" to the hamster. When we got home, the hamster was dead. FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML
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Top comments
RagingWill 17
Is your name Lemmywinks, perhaps?
luminos_ 9
At least the hamster died of a heart attack...not like your neighbor carried out various weird experiments on the hamster, leading to its agonizing death. Right?
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Comments (51)
RagingWill 17
Is your name Lemmywinks, perhaps?
laxbro4769 6
Lemmiwinks is a gerbil..
NurseJonathan 9
Lemmiwinks was a champion. A hero.
spaboolly 26
It's always nice to know you live next door to psychos.
lalala1896 6
I suggest you run for your life right now...
berichsoon 11
That's as creepy as it gets, I don't think listening to his stories is a good idea OP
luminos_ 9
At least the hamster died of a heart attack...not like your neighbor carried out various weird experiments on the hamster, leading to its agonizing death. Right?
license2chill 5
So how do you if a hamster died of heart attack? I'm just curious, never had a pet myself. People can't even tell if a human died of heart attack without proper analysis or even autopsy. Either way, that neighbor of yours is a creepy ****, get some house security and surveillance system, and get some weapons in your house.
g0dless 15
I'd cease all communication with him OP.. You never know how far people are willing to take their obsessions.
kirb2154 3
how cute...
TheJester12 15
I suggest you avoid stress, fried twinkies and McDonalds like the plague if your neighbor does in fact have a diabolical plan to kill you using his dead hamster as a voodoo doll . Cheers.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
I'll hold him back...RUN OP, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!
Altazor 4
maybe u shouldn't b r owninf pets then lolol
poopsi 19
Erm... What? I can't quite decipher this..
Altazor 4
I can teach you how to impliment minor error correction techniques involving the english language but I will have to charge...