Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, for my 18th birthday, I went out to a club with my mate and I drank so much I ended up breaking my nose. I was there for an hour. FML
Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
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Top comments
MrSassypants 34
"I used to tell people took an arrow to the knee, but then I took a fist to the nose." - OP
friedchickenpie 14
I used to hate that quote, but I took a Skyrim to the addiction section of my brain.
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Comments (385)
yunilee7 4
Why would you do that?
AdrianEC 15
Better than saying something like "You need to be 20% more calmer".
upyourzlolz 11
That's not what Rainbow Dash thinks.
AdrianEC 15
I'll be honest, it would be better. It's not like a lot of non-bronies would get it.
twilightluvr101 4
Omfg I looove ur pic
japtch 15
Right, because if you said "more calmer" you'd be grammatically incorrect. EDIT: Unless it's an inside joke thing, which I just picked up on. In THAT case, I'll just accept defeat, and go back to my corner. *walks away slowly*
superpoptart 24
44- do you go down by the sea shore?
CoolRainbowdash 15
It's 20% cooler not 20% calmer
Person1233 13
I used to wonder what friendship could be, until I took an arrow to the knee.
Dracoboxer357 36
Lol at #15, actually I would have loved to hear someone evaluate his level of hostility and suggest a very specific 20% increase in his calmness!!! That might have actually froze the guy for a second while a big "WTF?" blinked over his head! ;) The not-so-smart ass comment about the arrow in the knee begs for a shot in the beak. 10 points for the intention of defusing the situation, -9 points for the method selected.
eragon2262 6
Skyrim ftw
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Skyrim..bet not to many people know its from that, great game though
StartFromTheDark 6
Skyrim is ******* GAY
t765234 10
On ps3 it sucks.
graham11 14
227- okay go perk up, you pessimistic person.
emmanizzer 6
SKYRIM! I used to be a Skyrimer like you, then my computer took an arrow to the power supply. :( I miss it.
upyourzlolz 11
When I read the words club, bloke, and bar, I thought this would be about coat stands.
el_chicharito_14 0
It's a joke referring to the game skyrim.
deviable 9
Maybe because that joke was old five minutes after Skyrim came out.
docscientist 10
On the Internet, maybe. But not when applied in real life situations, especially on strangers who have no idea what it means.
MrSassypants 34
Even though I do not like the meme, docscientist may have a point. A lot of memes are funnier when people do not understand them. I hated the "u mad bro?" meme then my friend said that to some guy who was mad and he flipped out in a hilarious fashion. I usually don't think it was funny but the man was saying the most ridiculous things. One time I could've sworn he said something along the lines of "Of course I am mad? You see my face? Is it all happy like this:" Then he makes the most ridiculous smiley face ever. I literally laughed my ass off and had to gorilla glue it back on.
NAU_future 7
I'm with 20 on this one. If someone said that to me I'd hit them in the face like OP. Partly because I just had knee surgery (soccer injury) and partly because I find the meme annoying as hell.
BumpInTheRoad 3
Now you say you used to be the guy who defused situations until a fist hit your face.
YayFlameWarz 9
He obviously hasn't played Skyrim.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Or he has and is sick of hearing that line. I'm voting for that option because I completely empathise.
StalinsHeir 1
So Is THAT where all this has started from??
nsnforever 2
Just walk away.
ktpl44 3
^I like your picture
nsnforever 2
Thanks. And well, everyone has their own opinion. (:
emmanizzer 6
No. Love is what you use to describe Skyrim.
Blueglasscup 18
At least you don't have a broken knee!