Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML
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Top comments
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
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Comments (204)
CrackhouseDoug 0
YDI for being so judgemental of a person's appearance.
F_fatchick_lives 0
He was judgemental, and did deserve it. But have you ever met someone wearing an Affliction shirt that was not a D-bag?
DuhthatsObvious 0
Anyone who wears Ed Hardy is an automatic douchebag/tool in my book. I think this FML proves it, OP was victim of an obviously insecure douchebag. FYL, I'm sorry! :(
AmpulexCompressa 0
Actually, by breaking the OP's nose, the guy proved that he is, in fact, an insecure self-righteous douchebag, just like his clothing options imply. Someone who didn't have the need to prove himself to complete strangers would just ignore the OP or tell him to **** off.
kukopia 0
OP was owned. The douche was looking for an excuse to wail on someone, to the point of dressing to evoke negative comments. But, if the OP got his name, he could get the douche barred from MMA events. But he'd better hide for a while if he does...
Tupperware_fml 0
YDI for talking shit to someone who could obviously kick your ass.
Ox_Baker 0
I've been following MMA since before the first UFC, and I've been covering it since UFC 36. I can unequivocally state that every MMA fighter who ever lived is a douche bag. Yeah, you got a broke nose. Guess what? Douche bags do that.
youreanidiot 0
I hope you at least know that Affliction is the main competitor of UFC...
Banana_Ana17 0
My boyfriend is an MMA fighter. He thinks he's a douchebag. He's not, he's just honest. People generally only think he's a douchebag because he's honest, and they can't do anything about it because he could kick their ass. lol
F_fatchick_lives 0
I would love to meet your boyfriend. Sounds like fun :)
hotdogbitchface 0
I hope you haven't actually been asleep for the past few weeks, and realise that this is not the case?
XYZzzzzzzz 0
haha i wore an affliction shirt today. good stuff
harryc_fml 0
ufc is ducking awesome but ed Hardy is for faggots
apolo_fml 0
if it helps your nose any, I think you have a good taste of people
victoria4161993 0
I'd love to see you last in south orange county I go to like one of the richest schools in oc those types of guys are everywhere and ya that was totaly your fault talk shit get hit
Laxer21 0
ydi for messin with an angry dude
Nick93 0
Not all UFC or MMA fighters are douche bags. people like Randy couture and chuck Liddell are cool, and there not the only ones. All the real, good fighters are generally humble, respectful and focused people.
Slim_Shadyy_fml 0
okay, even the guy dresses like a douche bag. he serioulsy knows how to kick some serious ass.
silverlinings 0
you're genius!
silverlinings 0
to number 61, that is
no1askdu 5
yup u definitely deserved it.... did he do the superman on you lol
krazygirl100 9
pwnd don't dis the tea
FlankerWV 0
YDI for being an asshat and judging someone. HE equally deserves the pending legal action and lawsuit though....
fyl4sure 0
Lol asshat
phiaphia 0
lol he DOES sound like a prize douche to me, i dont blame you. surely people on here can't judge you for judging someone else.......
TheNeckbeard 0
Right above the comment box: "Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful." OP should have followed FML's advice.
DabegotWorld 5
cmon dude hes just letting out dont worry about it were all not perfect
Serix 0
YDI for being a douche bag yourself. Next time dont judge someone, bitch.
silverlinings 0
so you're judging OP for judging someone else...
FlaminYawn 0
it is weird how some tough guys dress like the biggest metro douchebags. Why I'll never know, is gay the new straight? No guy should ever wear bedazzles.
Draq 1
YDI for letting a douchebag hear you make fun of him. Learn to whisper next time.
JukeboxBunny 0
Hahaha this is great!
happylappy 21
Exactly what I was thinking! Never let people hear!
dacho 7
A AFFLICTION? Seriously?? How old are you, like, 2?