Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, for my 18th birthday, I went out to a club with my mate and I drank so much I ended up breaking my nose. I was there for an hour. FML
Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML
Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
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Top comments
MrSassypants 34
"I used to tell people took an arrow to the knee, but then I took a fist to the nose." - OP
friedchickenpie 14
I used to hate that quote, but I took a Skyrim to the addiction section of my brain.
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Comments (385)
ThecomingofTan 9
So you took an arrow to the knee and have a broken nose. You lucky bastard.
PaulB123 11
If you talk the talk you'd better be able to walk the walk. Funny cause by trying to diffuse the situation you were being a tough guy!
21sicko10 1
9gag ftw
old09 11
I was laughing so hard I don't know if I hit FYL or YDI Either way Lololololololol
Epsilonyx 15
Every single guard in the game at one point says "I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee" as you pass by. So it was a good opportunity to start the meme. And I mean every. Single. Guard.
HetaliaFreak 10
I told my teacher, "I was gonna do the homework, but then I took an arrow to the knee." She didn't think that was funny, either.
MrSassypants 34
*Gasp* Don't tell tell me she broke your nose?
VoteForTaco 8
No, she broke his knee.
PvtParts417 15
I used to be straight but then I took an arrow up the butt. And I liked it.
NotsoobviousTrol 5
Think about the blood!!!
BumpInTheRoad 3
He possibly drank the blood.
NotsoobviousTrol 5
What if the arrow was hooked?
BumpInTheRoad 3
Just more blood to drink, plus a very possible side of death.
VoteForTaco 8
56- More pleasure for him.
HetaliaFreak 10
A vibrating arrow.
old09 11
Well in the game Specific people (being any Guard in any city) say it referring to the fact That you're an adventurer specifically being the Dragonborn and.......Oh God I don't have a life
eatsleepjb 8
People used to like me, but then I started saying I took an arrow to the knee
Airman1988 9
This was simply karma getting back at you for using stupid overdone phrases that were never funny to begin with
docscientist 10
Karma's ******* retarded then, because it seems like the guy deserves hearing the phrase for acting like a douchebag by trying to start fights with everyone.