Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML
Today, my friend dared me to break a liquor bottle on my head. I slammed it into my head so hard I got dizzy, then did it a SECOND time and knocked myself out so hard that I pissed and shat myself. My head hurts really badly. FML
Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML
Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mhm_megann 0
i woleheartedly enjoyed how english that fml was!
xd0rkiee 0
Why would you even think that? Yes, pieces of glass flying onto you and cutting your face TOTALLY does not hurt.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
Flamersplamer 0
YDI for being an idiot
brutallyhonest24 0
he probably didnt deserve glass being smashed over his head, but he did deserve somthing for thinking that a glass smashed over his head wouldnt hurt that much
crazytoaster 2
Being glassed doesn't hurt that much...
Dante_Nakura 0
It really DOESN'T hurt. My friend and I were dancing like idiots on the dance floor just fooling around. I drank some of my beer and he pulled some kind of mind-blowing dance move while accidentally smashing the pint glass all over my face with my elbow. Other than going to the bathroom to clean the blood off my face from the small cut between my eyes I was fine. It was actually quite epic, the largest piece of glass left was the base, the rest was shattered. With my face. Yay.
flying_vegan 0
Also, it hurts less if you get hit by a full beer bottle than an empty one because although the bottle is heavier, the liquid tends to cushion the impact of any shards, reducing the risk of lacerations.
ScaughtieHolden 11
This was totally from The Departed. "What are you on your period?"
ExtremeEncounter 32
He deserved glass being shoved into his skull? You've got problems #1
xd0rkiee 0
Why would you even think that? Yes, pieces of glass flying onto you and cutting your face TOTALLY does not hurt.
tizzwang 0
Yeah I know right, it's not like you could get blinded or anything.
ironwords 8
consider the fact that most bar fights are drunk ones
mhm_megann 0
i woleheartedly enjoyed how english that fml was!
giiiiinge 0
woleheartedly? ha!
Erniesduck123 0
Wholeheartedly. I'm lost for words.
supertacowaffle 41
Proud to be British
BREADEDELF 3
YDI for being British
IndieSinger 0
FYL for being ignorant.
whatwasthatnoise 0
at #4, whats wrong with the british?
cyberhoy 3
Bad teeth. Inflated sense of entitlement. Snobby.
capgray 0
cyberhoy totally has his head on straight. i say: ydi for bein british AND fyl for bein british. so this is a lose lose situation. sorry op. but not really
shadowkiss13 0
ya that sucks that ur a dumbass ):
mad_molly 0
haha, I don't see what is so british about this except maybe the word "pint" at a stretch!
flying_vegan 0
"Down the pub with a mate", Americans would say "at the bar with a friend"
johnny_doe 0
The word "glassed". Nobody says "glassed" except the British, probably because people in other nations do stuff like OP's friend less.
Mitteny 0
People say "glassed" in Australia, but it usually refers to someone smashing a glass or bottle and holding the remaining base while they stab out with the rest.
blland 0
idk where you came from, but it appears to me that you think the world is exclusively what you see.
Quietcannon 0
There's stupid people EVERYWHERE, Sherlock. 'In other nations'? How ignorant can you be?
rhodium 0
YDI, but FYL too for having such a retarded friend.
JustAReaderOfFml 4
YDI FOR BEEN A IDIOT.
RFreedom 0
haha fyl . irony.........
JustAReaderOfFml 4
^_^ kiss me thru the internet
Brainnnnz 19
Uhh... What?
SirJamie77 7
Hahahahaha This made my day!