Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML
Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML
Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant waiting for a table. Some lady walked by, smelling like BO and patchouli oil. I attempted to cover my nose with my sweatshirt, but I thumped a small girl in the process. FML
Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML
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Top comments
kooochris1995 14
At least your not a dick! Even though now she probably won't leave you alone forever.
datoismyname 22
At least she didn't stick her hand down your pants.
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Comments (192)
kooochris1995 14
At least your not a dick! Even though now she probably won't leave you alone forever.
kyrosk91 6
You know that it's "you're", right? The difference is when you know your shit, or when you know you're shit.
kooochris1995 14
Sorry I didn't know this was English class. And I typed it too fast.
kyrosk91 6
It's okay, I honestly don't care. I just saw that little grammar thing somewhere else online and decided to use it.
AnonymousTroll 2
If you didn't care you wouldn't even mention it.
Discombobulated9 12
Due to her lack of social life at work; she probably got desperate and nervous when you engaged conversation with her. I'm sure she'll chill out once she becomes confident that she's not going to be ignored at work anymore.
laxbro182 1
There is a reason everyone avoids her... That doesn't make people a dick because of her lack of social skills
Discombobulated9 12
-80, I just figured that lack of social skills were due to the lack of practising said social skills. I didn't imply anyone was a dick either :/
Discombobulated9 12
And now I'm going to hide in a dark corner to rock back and forth for my instant assumption that number 80's comment was directed at me *sucks thumb*.
asiandude801 4
Efashah YOU'RE a dumbass. He used it as a possessive so it's your.
crazyladydaisy 4
Lmao, now you know to avoid weird people, believe me I would know I'm weird. -__- oh shii...
blonderabbit 0
well, at least it was an interesting conversation.
The_Hitdude 12
First of all #83 there are two forms of the word your/you're in the correction, with two different meanings. That was the point of his explanation. Efashah, you're (yes YOU ARE) an idiot.
RaggleFrock 13
Blah blah blah. The op met forever alone girl.
Kog_Hiro 17
83 - esfashah. Read it again. She didn't mess it up.
massacreman3000 1
30 - sees one grammar lesson, assumes she is god of grammar.
bri1201 0
Liar, you just wanted to be a snarky bitch.
Pinkfl0yd 9
She's a keeper.
musicluvr2000 11
I swear that's the millionth time I've seen that comment on a post that involves two people
ryry013 6
Shes... Not a keeper though
Furrywhiplash 14
Oh, but she most definitely IS a keeper. She is going to keep popping up in his life whether he wants her to or not. If things go astray, she will probably keep his severed head hidden in a freezer. Either way she could be considered a "keeper."
karkid619 8
Yeah well when people usually stay away from someone they have a pretty good reason.
ashley998079 0
Hahaha:)
Awsumuzzie 12
Not really, I befriended a lot of people that had "no friends" and a lot of them were great. Also, when I first came to America, people were afraid to talk to me, which isn't a good reason.
datoismyname 22
At least she didn't stick her hand down your pants.
kooochris1995 14
While reading the fml I thought that's what he was gonna say. But then I saw chips.
Pinkfl0yd 9
She's saving that for tonight.
things12345 14
At least she didn't stick her hand down HER pants
TVPRO 0
Same here
Krysk_fml 0
When she comes to your house, act as weird as she is. This way she'll stay away from you forever
kooochris1995 14
Like in Drake and Josh. If you have seen that episode.
TunechiXXL 0
You can't do this, she will think you are just like her and won't leave you alone..... Birds of a feather, **** them
gage27 5
Do this and you're SO gettin a ******** tonight!(;
MickGold 8
No, no! You have to get even weirder than her. Make her think you're a psychopath. And just say you ran out of your "medication"
The_Hitdude 12
#119 Maybe that'll turn her on...?
blackbelt25 12
At least you're more compassionate than your co-workers who made fun of her.
Ins0mau 20
She didn't actually say they made fun of her.
drawmesunshine 17
But people are assholes, so it's safe to assume they do.
chili_is_good 0
Tell her smelling like fish is a common disorder
perdix 31
I'll bet she had recently had her hand in her "chip packet." Did your chips suddenly become Salt and Vinegar flavored? Make sure at dinner, you serve open-faced roast beef sandwiches . . . topped with Limburger cheese.
JayDeLaGhetto 7
Lmfao!
Summera 2
That's nasty.
54plum 0
Have fun with your new BFFL!
dethbunny 0
BFFL?
jawtherian 2
Best Friend For Life
Boomshacalaca 5
Best friend for life :L
Swiftly 0
Big fluffy flying lesbians
soupisyummy 13
Blissful flamboyant feet lickers
flockz 20
Big ******* Fairies Littering.
Marcelb 17
Butt Fondling For Life. Obviously.
asoptavlo14 6
^Forever alone.
Llama_Face89 34
Bird fooling feisty lobsters?
Tiecho 4
Theres usually a reason people ignore/ stay away from other people. True, sometimes ppl can be just mean and rude to ppl who are different, but thats a lot more wasted energy that you dont have to use