Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, while driving to work, I stopped to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honked their horn, so I drove slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pulled into the car park and noticed the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and someone cut me off. I then switched lanes and sped past the person as I flipped them off. What I didn't notice was that the person that cut me off was my boss. He's been shooting me dirty looks from across the room all morning. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, while crossing the street, I was honked at by a stopped car. I responded with a finger and a "Fuck you!" It was my boss who just wanted to say hi. FML
Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
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Top comments
Ninjafriends 1
I would call the cops on that bitch! Then inform HR/your boss at work, just in case she decides to go psycho on you again in the future.
Doortje 30
That is one crazy woman :O FYL!
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Comments (92)
rebecca_joann 0
haha. That must have sucked! XD
Deservesit22 1
Now when you get to the office you finally get to hit a coworker with no trouble But when you say I got fired for hitting her I'ma lmfao
tykiej 0
Too bad she didnt punch you a second time. OP, you suck for tailgating.
sirdolittle 0
Let's see, she's on foot and you're in a car with the engine running ... wonder what could happen next ! Oh, and stop sucking her exhaust pipe !! If you can't get in front of her, just back of a bit 'til you can, ok ?
Jasonf6 0
Tell me you charged the bitch with assault.
zivlaks 0
punch her back?
llamagangster 0
Bull shit.
varkey 7
why didn't u punch back..... FYL anyway
Deadzombie 2
sounds like bs to me.
shaniqualee 2
Okay, since you're obviously a poose, here's what you have to do: Unscrew the bolts in her seat so that when she sits down, she'll fall off the chair. As she tries to get up, make sure that her head is just above the desk. Make sure that your desk can move easily and when that woman begins to get up, quickly move your desk behind her and then push up against her so hard that she's trapped between the desks. The best will be if you get her neck caught between the two desks. At this point, you will have to push with as much force as you can muster so that her circulation begins to cut off and she has trouble breathing. As she begins to lose consciousness and can no longer fight, stop pushing and begin wailing on her face. After a good 10 punches, do a 360 degree round house kick to her face. As she loses large amounts of blood while bleeding internal and possibly suffers from a broken neck, put on your sunglasses and say "Guess you shouldn't have been a bitch...bitch," and walk out in slow motion while the song "Big Pimpin" plays in the background.
Doortje 30
Wow, you have really thought that through! I like it, it's very creative.