Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
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Top comments
EffMEffinL 0
That reminds me of the time I passed by my friend at school in the hallway, and said, "What's up?" she looked hurt and didn't respond. Later, I asked her why. She thought I said 'Shut up'. Communication Fail.
saranottelling 7
What I really want to know is why you greeted her with "Hey sweetheart" on the1st date. That's more of a 5th-10th date thing. On the 1st-5th dates you greet each other by name. The 10th date and up you start making those really horrible nicknames that make your friends sick each time you use them.
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Comments (86)
45yell 0
lul funny 1
Queen_Naiomi 2
@38, you are just mad that no one calls you sweetheart. Guys who call girls that are trying to be nice, I call everyone hun or love just because that is in my nature. But seriously, that is hysterical.
CYNNER 0
#40 not hysterical. realistic. my boyfriend calls me beautiful but we've been together for 3 years. first date is a little soon for pet names
539533 0
that's random
ducks4life 0
that bitch is stupid
NyahNyahNyah 2
Embarassing, but funny. FYL
daneeyoll 0
happens
aeslehc_ 0
She IS kind of a retard if she thought that's what you said and can't be convinced otherwise.
saaaammmmm 0
I had an interesting mishearing experience working as a cashier. A foreign man came in and asked for directions. During our very civil discussion he called me a ******. I didn't trust my ears so I ignored it. He said it a few more times but it was so incongruent with the conversation that I ignored it. A few years later a friend that had recently learned English was able to illustrate what had happen. She eloquently asked a teacher if she could go take a "shit." Apparently it is very easy to learn curse words without realizing what they mean when learning a new language.
Blue_Agave 0
What she thought you said would have been a better greeting.
Lordlucian 0
lol