Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
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Top comments
EffMEffinL 0
That reminds me of the time I passed by my friend at school in the hallway, and said, "What's up?" she looked hurt and didn't respond. Later, I asked her why. She thought I said 'Shut up'. Communication Fail.
saranottelling 7
What I really want to know is why you greeted her with "Hey sweetheart" on the1st date. That's more of a 5th-10th date thing. On the 1st-5th dates you greet each other by name. The 10th date and up you start making those really horrible nicknames that make your friends sick each time you use them.
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Comments (86)
cutebuttshorty 0
o that sucks
cutebuttshorty 0
why did you even say hey sweetheart??? going a little fast there???
davidhasmorefun 0
this isn't a fyl. If she didn't find it funny then she is a waste. find a new crush.
Person1233 13
At least she didn't think you said cum-dumpster.
n8equalsd 0
you called her sweetheart on the first date? does anyone else find that weird?
cuteeeface 0
it's not weird that he called her sweetheart at alll. especially since he's from texas! that's just a southern thing. my boyfriend is from texas and he called me hun and sweetie and sweetheart before we were ever really friends. alot of guys from the south do that. anyway sorry, that sucks! :( if she really thinks that and doesn't believe you then that just forget about her :)
indiechickXD 0
Ahh mate. That completely sucks =(
perdix 31
Between your speech impediment and her retardation, I'm sure your brood will be taking home lots of Nobel Prizes. That is, if they introduce a Nobel Prize for Knuckle-Dragging.
thinmint 0
lol I would like retard better anyway, it let's me know we both have a silly sense of humor...
CYNNER 0
Ha ha. you deserve it. if someone called me sweetheart on our first date i'd punch him in the face cuz guys who are forward that quick just wanna try and get laid