Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML
Today, I started dating my crush. Turns out she's a living nightmare. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
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Top comments
EffMEffinL 0
That reminds me of the time I passed by my friend at school in the hallway, and said, "What's up?" she looked hurt and didn't respond. Later, I asked her why. She thought I said 'Shut up'. Communication Fail.
saranottelling 7
What I really want to know is why you greeted her with "Hey sweetheart" on the1st date. That's more of a 5th-10th date thing. On the 1st-5th dates you greet each other by name. The 10th date and up you start making those really horrible nicknames that make your friends sick each time you use them.
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Comments (86)
nazooer 11
People like you joined.
zachattackkk 0
YDI for calling a girl 'sweetheart' on the first date. also, why the **** are you dating a girl that's mentally retarded enough to think you'd call her a retard for no reason?
pretty_rave_girl_fml 11
Wow that sux!!
birdsfly01 0
#70 is a ****!
SkoomaKi 28
That's nae very nice!
fa11en 0
If the girl can't understand that she misunderstood you and can't take a complement, she's not worth your time.
Tekno4Lyfe 0
hahaha,, shut dowwnn=P
kirstenmhairi 0
yeah I had a major row that lasted for days with one of my best friends in highschool because she overheard me talking about how she has a really "fat" belly.... I said "flat".
collegegrad2009 0
My Gfs father had a Myth TV box that was never setup right by his son, I suggested a few changes based of the "torrent server" setup I had for my roommates in college because 3 of my roommates killed our internet by all downloading the same movies..... He thought I was suggesting copying my "**** server", I should have beleived her when she said he has bad hearing, along with the hour of apologizing and convincing him Im not a pervert it eventually works out. As someone pointed out just mention how stupid it would be for you to say that.
ollie1322 0
OHHH
May525XoXo 8
Lol!