Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML
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Top comments
Jake221 0
I feel sorry for you :(. Thats what Ipods are for. FYL.
flinkpamingo 0
You should have listened to the older women. You might have learned something.
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Comments (77)
uberkrissy 0
FAT MONK FTW
waterynuggets 0
Hey Chris Tucker.
TheOldKid 0
I'm hoping someone posted this already, but how do you know you were flying next to a monk? Was he wearing the typical "Brown Robe" and "Rope" belt. Come on. Really!?! And where were you flying home from and to?
silvercola 0
sAme thing happened to me. but i was in a chinse resturaunt
atomick 0
Because, you know, everybody, when not talking about sex for seventeen hours straight, sleeps for seventeen hours straight. Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful to these lying douche bags.
Punchingbag 0
Oh my poor guy. XD
batchplease 0
my longest flight was about 23 hours! alberta to london london to dubai dubai to mauritius island
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Buddhist monks shave their heads and wear scarlet and gold. If the OP was flying to Southeast Asia-- Thailand for example-- it's quite likely the monk was traditionally dressed. Fransiscan friars still wear brown robes and rope-like belts. I know this because my cousin is one.
elizanena9 0
ugh!
lifeisabitch9 0
Today I was on a 17 hour flight...I went to sleep, so I didn't have to listen to these two old ladies to my right talking about their teenage sex lives. I don't know what's worse, waking up to hear one of the women describing her first ****** in detail, or seeing the kid to my left masturbating to the conversation.