Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington, DC an hour ago. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, thanks to my new anti-anxiety meds, I am finally no longer agoraphobic. Today also marks 5 weeks of constant diarrhea due to the same meds. Guess who's not leaving the house anytime soon. FML
Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML
Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
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Top comments
goldenscorpion_fml 15
No one 'decides' to get diarrhea.
leaper66 12
F their life. Not only was that uncomfortable, they were probably really embarrassed because everyone now knows them as "the person who had diarrhea and held up the flight."
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Comments (104)
harrypotter955 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sounds like a shitt... Eh it's not worth it
sayyestothedress 24
Thank you for not finishing that shitty pun! (If people think this is a pun, I did not intentionally write the pun)
miianah1 22
#20, you just needed to say "no pun intended" Lol
sayyestothedress 24
#59 I just realized it when I hit the "validate" button
ginger196 14
Oh dear lord in heaven, I hope they had febreeze
devildog562 33
You don't like recycled aerosol ass juice on your flights?
tony1891 22
air Freshener doesn't work. only makes it smell worse. ugh
BigLatchZatch 14
Like shit flowers. Or vanilla shit beans.
foxwasalamb 24
"vanilla shit beans" lold at this
shessohighh 10
The small amount of liquids that they actually allow you to take on a plane couldn't possibly mask even the mildest diarrhea situation
Polynomial 28
You can bring gallons ... if bought after security.
worldclassrager 41
Under 5oz don't count on it
Brightbulb 40
Last time I was on a plane it was under 5 oz to pass security and then you could buy anything you wanted to take on the plane on the shops between security and the gate. I got air freshener, a drink, food, and brought it all on the plane with no difficulties.
leaper66 12
F their life. Not only was that uncomfortable, they were probably really embarrassed because everyone now knows them as "the person who had diarrhea and held up the flight."
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
I'm sure the OP would have decided not to inconvenience the other passengers by remaining in their seat and crapping their pants.
Mauskau 36
I don't think OP is the one that held up the flight.
janguillou 3
Nobody implied it was. What Earl_KarmasBitch was saying, sarcastically, was that had it been OP who decided to get the diarrhea, he or she would not have held up the flight, but instead sat in the seat, defecating in his or her pants.
goldenscorpion_fml 15
No one 'decides' to get diarrhea.
junkman6 22
If you decide to eat Taco Bell you decided to get diarrhea.
chadermcchaf 16
#15 Don't forget Chipotle!
badluckalex 23
Chipotle is fine for me
foxwasalamb 24
i agree, i don't think you should be bitter against them. its not like holding up the plane was their evil genius master-plan.
junkman6 22
I dunno number 40. Maybe you're onto some new evil criminal plot! They delay your flights by hours and force you to smell the aroma of defecation. Their singular goal is to make you mildly uncomfortable, truly dastardly criminals.
CoolCookie210 22
Where will you be when diarrhea hits?
thedailyworst 4
I moded this and it wasnt diarrhea it said take a shit so
Kielnmsoftly 26
Actually people who eat the Satan Diarrrhea Hate Bears (the Haribo sugarless gummy bears' nickname) do. They eat them to see if they are actually as bad as people say they are. I'm waiting until the day I can order some and try because I want to so yeah.
Mattaguirre_ 15
what a shitty situation you must've been in
Ltsdragons 19
Stop with the shit puns. Is it that much harder to think of a more clever pun? Like maybe, idk, "Stinks to be you." Or something better than a shit pun
junkman6 22
Nah "what a shitty situation" "is a keeper," when it comes to toilet related FMLs.
sirpantselot 22
Thanks for providing an example of why you shouldn't come up with puns on the run.
shay_serendipity 29
"A shitty situation..." Get out.
HackNSlashHD 10
No, just no. Stop.
vanessa_tranz 15
It seems like there are more comments complaining about the 'shitty situation' puns than the actual puns themselves.
sonshadsil94 15
I love how every post in this entire thread has 0 thumbs or less
Ki11erC 18
Apparently even the aeroplane ones don't fly.
Moonunit226 19
Haha #29 "on the run"
garadan1 18
Part of me wonders what "safety reasons" these were..
Welshite 40
The threat of Ebola, most likely.
larrena2377 26
People have to be seated with their seat belts on during takeoff, landing, and turbulence. So if they were on the toilet, they didn't have a seat belt.
allie2590 31
Oh, the thought of a toilet with a seatbelt. Buckle up, you're in for a ride.
jake238 9
Diahhrea is a form of terrorism
larrena2377 26
41, at least you'd be prepared for when they scared the shit out of you.
garrett_8614 14
Imagine being on the toiled while the plane is going hundreds of miles an hour during takeoff....not a pretty situation to be in.
sturschaedel 27
41, you almost made me snort my coffee all over my phone. Well done.
skyttlz 32
The thought of being stuck on an airplane toilet with diarrhea during takeoff..
ahippienamedrae 10
Now would be a great opportunity to post that "Where will you be when diarrhea hits?" picture.
TommyG493 11
Your attitude really stinks
Geeve95 11
Well just imagine if you had diarrhea and instead of them waiting for you to be done in the painful time what if they just took off.... SH!T WOULD BE GOING EVERYWHERE IN THE WASHROOM... Now that would be a real FML. Plus you just need to be patient.
thesmeagol 22
If you would have preferred they could have just went in their pants and stunk up the plane.