Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML
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Top comments
Jake221 0
I feel sorry for you :(. Thats what Ipods are for. FYL.
flinkpamingo 0
You should have listened to the older women. You might have learned something.
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Comments (77)
__cupcaaake 0
Was it really necessary to mention he was a fat Monk? Couldn't you just have said fat guy? YDI. Shoulda brought an iPod or something. Oh well ^_^x
inerdablanket 4
This is why ipods were invented.
shamille 5
oh cool. i've never seen a monk in real life...
foryoublue94 0
If only there were bridges on airplanes that you could jump from. Also, to those saying they'd just put on headphones... My ipod only has 4 hours of battery life, I don't know about anyone else's, but that usually tends to suit me pretty well anyways.
gmogos92 0
how old is your iPod?? mines the 80gb classic its got about 12 hours music life
Brey1013 0
Get an iPod.
raquelspeaking 0
...just ask the stewardess if you can switch seats, usually international airlines (I'm only assuming, as the flight is 17 hours) are full of empty seats...quit being a pansy, you paid for the seat...
MagicMeds 0
We REALLY need a "Who cares?" button!
fmliz4nerdz2 0
that must fckin be ....... not interesting!
eddles 0
on the bright side you went on a trip and maybe made good memories there
granthm 0
were u flying to the Vatican or something?