Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years-old. FML
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Ouch FYL OP, cockblocked by a bird-flinging kid!
EnterSandman_fml 20
Damn, this is like a double FML. Losing the girl, getting stuck listening to whiny children. It could've been worse though, there could've been a snoring fat man with horrendous BO in the seat in front of you.
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Comments (75)
Pleonasm 36
Ouch FYL OP, cockblocked by a bird-flinging kid!
Feared 9
It's OP's fault though. How hard is it to say "sorry, this seat is saved for my friend."?
DKParth13 5
Hey at least she wanted to sit beside you.... I get lucky enough if someone sat 10 seats down from me~forever alone
gc327072 31
19/ but then the cute girl could've looked at him like "dafuq?!" and walked off, thus still making an FML.
Pleonasm 36
Well it looks like... ( Puts on sunglasses) she became a no-fly zone! YEAAAAAAAAA
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
I am not entirely sure why, but your picture is oddly fitting for this comment.
Feared 9
21- that's why you wink at the girl after to let her know what's up.
Shelta957 13
I wouldn't blame the kid, that game is hard!
LaPush_ 7
Hate that game! ******* stupid pigs :c
fylx100 19
The pigs are always like "Oh. So you want to destroy me and you only have one bird left? Let me take every block that collapses on top of me then and not die but get left severely injured to where I need one more little hit." Yeah, I stopped playing that game.
Unibear 1
Those birds cant fly. They have no wings. Think of it as throwing really fat rock..
Liamj774 36
Scream at the kid.
cosmosis 12
Top thinking... Yell at someone elses kid in a public place. Good job Squire. Gold star for stupidity.
KiddNYC1O 22
Settle down, Brian Griffin. Wahh!
Lennes 12
Are some people just entirely without manners?
gc327072 31
Some people are just plane rude.
Pleonasm 36
Tell him that that kind of stuff doesn't fly by you.
Accuraxy 10
^ Or land a punch on him. Lol I tried:p
MedKits 9
59- The emote at the end ruined it.
Church_Vii 4
You could always fling a bird at his face and hit on his mother.
graffitied_love 20
At least it was a well kept child. What if he picked his nose and ate it the whole time? It can always be worse OP
Tezoma 28
At least he'd be quiet, if that were the case.
chellyX92 8
I rather a boogie eating kid than screaming hyper active kid any day to deal with. You help looking at them its hard to ignore their screaming.
EnterSandman_fml 20
Damn, this is like a double FML. Losing the girl, getting stuck listening to whiny children. It could've been worse though, there could've been a snoring fat man with horrendous BO in the seat in front of you.
U_GotitDude 18
Man that sucks. Sorry OP :(
RainbowDashie140 12
Of coure it does it's on FML dumbass
LoveGuru69 0
you couldve spent some time with her in the bathroom
Tezoma 28
The tiny bathroom barely big enough for one person?
gc327072 31
Two passengers one bathroom.
KiddNYC1O 22
9 is only suggesting mile-high club.
SkoomaKi 28
#13 - It worked on "Snakes on a plane" ;)
Tezoma 28
63, Everything works in fiction movies.
dead247 13
That was fiction!? Oh thank goodness. I may finally sleep well, after six long years of horrible nightmares and medication.
gree_fml 11
You ever encounter an attractive person that asks you to sit next to them, you FIGHT for that spot!