Today, I went out of my way to avoid street preachers thrusting hateful propaganda at me. A young woman ran up to me and started waving paper in my face, and I snapped at her to fuck off. Right afterwards I realised she was returning something that fell out of my pocket. She looked terrified. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was riding the subway, reading a book, when a woman suddenly shoved a flyer over my book. Aghast by her rude gesture, I declined to take the paper. I looked over and noticed it was a flyer for a missing girl. FML
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I was mugged by a street preacher. The same one who'd earlier in the day screamed at me for being an evil sinner. FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML
Today, I was at the mall, when I saw an elderly lady drop her groceries, so I rushed over to help her pick them up. She took one look at me, called me a "Liberal bastard," and shouted for me to get away from her before she called the cops. FML
Today, in a crowded store, I waved at someone who looked familiar. The woman frowned, looked behind her, then back at me, and said, “Do I know you?” I panicked and said, “Yes… spiritually?” She walked away faster than I’ve ever seen flee. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
Today, I bumped into a lady, apologised and tried to continue on. She screamed assault and tried to citizen's arrest me. I've got better things to do, so I ignored her but she latched onto my leg like a toddler. I ended up dragging this insane woman up the street until she finally let go. FML
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Top comments
melij99 5
It's a simple rule my friend: Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
ManInTheMachine 20
You should probably listen to what someone has to say before you snap at them. I can gurantee she tried to say something, and wasn't just thrusting paper in your face.
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Comments (105)
Pleonasm 36
"Turn the other cheek! No wait sir, your wallet is falling out of it!"
herpderpherpderp 13
I'm sorry, but in no way do I understand this comment. :c
CountMango 5
I suppose butt cheeks are too sophisticated for some people.
Pleonasm 36
I was joking about a situation where the person says something to OP that they interpret as religious propaganda, when in fact they were just trying to help OP and point out that his wallet was going to fall out of his back pocket, but apparently it wasn't clear. Sorry guys, my bad.
Delta2Almanac 7
it is a Biblical reference to Mathew.
herpderpherpderp 13
alrighty than. thanks everyone :D
Kiki242 19
More like FHL.
melij99 5
It's a simple rule my friend: Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I really love it when people scream **** off in my face.. Maybe OP's masochistic?
zenrael 21
More of a guideline.
CrewBoy 10
Well, if someone is threatening me with hell ill threaten them with something else. If they didn't want to be threatened, they shouldn't threaten me. Treat others how you want to be treated.
UncleMuscles 5
@7, "God, yes! Now insult my mother!"
Unibear 1
#30-So if someone keys my car then lights my house up in flames...I should do that to him? Even payback right?
CrewBoy 10
46, Sure, you SHOULD, you'd get in trouble with the law and you could have just called the police. But that doesn't mean revenge is wrong.
Bluekaren16 19
It's treat others the way they want to be treated.
CrewBoy 10
59, no it's not.
Holyshihtzus 7
OP was probably just really paranoid about it. I don't know about you guys, but I probably would be too if I was trying really hard to avoid someone.
ManInTheMachine 20
You should probably listen to what someone has to say before you snap at them. I can gurantee she tried to say something, and wasn't just thrusting paper in your face.
MormonPornstar 7
No, you can't guarantee anything as you were not there.
domking1315 20
Its at least very probable
Pleonasm 36
Hi, I'm just wondering, I left a couple of comments here that were here pretty early on, but quickly they both disappeared, and neither seemed to be breaking the rules at all; at leat, I can't see them anyway, does anyone know what's going on??
kingwess 8
But you see, that would be the logical thing to do! Common courtesy has gone out the window
dead247 13
To many variables. Op could have had a rough day before hand. I know if I was having one of those days, I may have snapped on someone.
bgreen1111 16
Yeah, I have a similar story where I was holding a pinecone and went up to my friend. I said, "Here, hold this.. But be careful.." He grabbed it before I had the chance to say "...it's covered in dog shit." Listen before you react.
loserboii 11
I wonder why she didn't say something to you instead of waving paper.
JustDerpin 11
She could be foreign
TotallyAradical 14
Damn Mexicans.
TotallyAradical 14
Whoops. Damn foreigners. I won't be as specific next time!
the_wombat 6
She probably did. OP probably just wasn't listening. He sounds kind of like an ass to me.
shellz102 12
YDI for being an asshole. Even if it was a protester, you didn't have to be so mean to them.
Pleonasm 36
I agree though FHL.
Gottobekiddingme 7
Sounds like YOU are the hateful one.
onlychildFTW 34
Everyone has bad days where thy snap at people. No big deal. Just say sorry to the person and thank them then be on your way.
CrewBoy 10
She's not the one telling everyone that they're going to go to hell and that homosexuals are evil. And that all the non-believers will suffer for all eternity.
misspulkadot24 17
Wow. You sound like a delusional ass. I hope she ripped up that paper you lost, and I hope it was a winning lotto ticket.
LadyGore 12
That's a bit harsh, everyone makes mistakes. I think YOU are the delusional one.
LadyGore 12
How do you know OP doesn't severely need money and could really benefit from winning money. Now you are doing the same thing as OP.
misspulkadot24 17
Nobody deserves to be treated like shit for waving a damn paper around. If he was so concerned about it being a preacher, he could've just said he wasn't interested. And calm the hell down, pretty sure it wasn't actually a lotto ticket.
EpicBlondie89 19
Geez, everyone had bad days. This is a bit harsh. He made a mistake. All it takes is an apology to rectify the situation.
Blueglasscup 18
**** your lifeboats? I'd say **** that poor girl's life. She was doing a good deed too sheesh...