Today, I took mine and my sister's dog for a walk in the park near my house. The dog managed to find a large piece of rotting, frozen meat buried in the snow and tried to eat it. I had to pry it from his mouth and can't get the smell out of my gloves and coat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML
Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
Today, my dog decided to take a poop at the top of an icy hill. Being a good citizen, I went to clean it up. Guess who slipped and wore the poop all the way down the hill… FML
Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML
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Top comments
dietcoke09 25
#1 Your comments are so idiotic. Why don't you take a trip to Mexico and say something like that to the cartel
nonsensical 26
By body do you mean human?
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Comments (15)
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your sister's dog is stupid, but yours in a genius? Give your sister your coat and gloves and make her pay half for your new ones. Or get Mexico to pay -- I've heard they are in a buying mood right now.
ajk168 22
Mexico thinks you're an idiot
RichardPencil 32
You don't recognize political satire when you see it. You, sir, are the idiot.
Justy101 23
@11 It's not that people don't recognise or understand the jokes you make. It's just that most of the time your jokes just aren't funny. That sounds bitchier than intended. Don't worry, I'm rarely funny either.
dietcoke09 25
#1 Your comments are so idiotic. Why don't you take a trip to Mexico and say something like that to the cartel
moondoglou420 17
Well at least that's some shit you aren't gonna have to deal with now.
JMcool 18
<p>Anyone else feel like this would be the start of a zombie apocalypse in a movie or something?</p>
dietcoke09 25
#1 stop with your idiotic comments.
RichardPencil 32
<p>Stop bullying me.</p> <p>If you don't like my comments, don't read them. My avatar is very distinctive, so reading or skipping my comments is easy. If you hate them so much, but can't help but read them, hit the thumbs down button and move on.</p> <p>Your continual nagging that I quit writing altogether is out of line and evil. You have no right to deny my right to comment. You should be ashamed of yourself.</p>
heackargirl 9
You know,you could've just opened the dog's mouth to let the meat fall... Just one finger to either extreme side of his jaws and push... he would've opened wide
ohkitty 21
so you say the dog belongs to you & your sister but as soon as it does something stupid you say it's just your sister's? poor dog :(
booboo300 15
<p>OP here. I was walking my dog, and my sister's dog. Two dogs :p my sister's dog is the one who found the rotting chunk of meat, which I assume a racoon dug out of someone's trash and left in the field. </p>