Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML
Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML
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Top comments
yesio12 13
don't drop the soap!
dbjb40 0
sucks for you next time don't where speedos there nasty
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Comments (247)
FlonkertonChamp 6
really? you couldn't bring clothes with you? YDI
NickTM 0
YDI. Obviously.
lonely_heart_89 6
YDI for wearing a speedo. but also, how could you not think to bring some clothes with you, especially since you presumably knew you were going to be walking home???
ynnhoj 2
why would u walk down the street wearing nothing but a speedo. ..... at least you didn't get your ass kicked ... I guess..
mattmason 0
Dude that's gotta suck big time!! so soap on the rope for you
aback 5
Okay, so you look like a ***** in speedos.
perdix 31
1. Drop Speedos in holding tank. 2. ????? 3. Profit
Primus_fml 0
Underpants gnome reference FTW
yagurlteeteexoxo 0
that's sucks. get prove that u was @ the swimming pool n **** the cops up later.
Neybay 0
Make sure you go to your 'happy place' ....
sloop_fml 0
dude you are gay, maybe u just haven't realized it yet...who does that?