Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You sure were hard... Hard to find.
cuddly_scorpion 4
Well, shit.
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Comments (66)
Adhdkid107 9
Ouch bro, ouch...
CheeseHater 23
This is one of those cases where it is just not possible that he could deserve it. Like, you might say that "It's not the size of the boat but the motion in the ocean" but in this case it did and he could not do shit about it. This isn't something he could've prevented in any way. Maybe with surgery, but just no.
Louis1992 9
Lmfao!! Smh damn
revolution4ever 14
Jeans hide that well don't they? If you weren't wearing jeans, I'm truly sorry OP.
VeganVampyre 27
... I've never had a problem telling if a guy is hard because he's wearing jeans. They're not that thick, you know.
laya_fml 26
This reminds me of the FML where the girl reaches into the boy's pants and tells him to get hard when he was.
Stefanie88 24
I know, me too..
AKGrace 13
Your girlfriend sounds like a bitch. Any girl who cared or was the least bit considerate to your feelings wouldn't do that. Either that or she's just too young and immature to know the difference. Sorry man!
gameover18 17
LOLZ XD
jelly713 19
Guys tend to tuck their junk to the side, have baggy jeans with belts on, with lots of stuff in their pockets, or have it tucked into the elastic part of the underwear to have it flat on their stomach, which would be easy to feel up wrong & when it's dark, it's harder to tell. Unless she was pulling the pants down, I'm not so sure if she really feeling it. Was she looking down shamelessly? I'm curious. Making out & feeling up, it's possible she didn't get a good feel. Just saying. I feel bad for OP being told that.
license2chill 5
Well, I agree with you on the tucking and hiding, but there are not much square-footage down there to search.... Also based on her proactive approach, I would assume she's experienced.
miss_sqwert 19
We're u wearing jeans? Sometimes its hard to tell through jeans
gracehi 33
"We are u wearing jeans?" What an odd way to pose a question.
DAN_THA_GR8 12
There always next time to prove her wrong