Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You sure were hard... Hard to find.
cuddly_scorpion 4
Well, shit.
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Comments (66)
SirTalkaton 22
Get the pump bro!
bocefus 6
Baby penis
_shortshit 3
Did anyone else notice that this story is EXACTLY like the one when a guy was making out with a girl & she said "get hard for me" & he said "i was"
Marblecakelolz 11
Why would someone even say that? If your guy isn't hard, then get down there and suck until he is.
amifaiyaz 12
Maybe try harder next time.
steam_engenius 21
Who even says that??
Louis1992 9
All u need is an older woman. These young cats don't know what they are doing.
toastedjellybowl 7
Well, some people do not get fully erect if they are nervous. You may think you are hard, but in reality you are only partially hard.
KevinFlynn 13
oooo. sucks man
Mortoli 30
I know your pain