Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, my husband once again thought it would be funny to rage-bait our child during dinner. There was screaming, food being thrown around, and a whole lot of running around instead of eating. I already had a headache and was already overstimulated, so I had to fend off a meltdown. All this over chicken burgers. FML
Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
Today, I yelled at my oldest son for picking his little brother up by the throat. Only to then be yelled at my my mother-in-law for hurting his feelings. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, after a fight, my boyfriend brought me a soda that exploded when I opened it. Furious at his constant childish bullshit, I threw his ass out. Two hours later, my son confessed that he'd shaken the cans as a joke. I tried to call my boyfriend, but he'd blocked my number. FML
Today, my in-laws invited us over to dinner. I decided to help out in the kitchen and watched in horror as my mother-in-law licked every utensil, sucked her fingers while making the plates and slurped wine straight from the bottle. My husband said I was rude for refusing to eat. FML
Today, I finally confronted my father about how rude and tactless he is. It wasn't until I'd finished my rant that I realized he was ignoring me. He then told me to get him something to drink. I replied, "Since you asked so rudely, you can go get it yourself." As soon as I'd said that, he grunted and repeated himself. FML
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Top comments
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Technically, she wasn't lying.
limitedition 25
I'm sure the teacher had heard worse. Kids have a way of making things sound very bad.
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Comments (37)
limitedition 25
I'm sure the teacher had heard worse. Kids have a way of making things sound very bad.
sabrinaacrow 26
It's because they don't know the other meanings to what they say
limitedition 25
Exactly. So hopefully the teacher would take it with a grain of salt.
sabrinaacrow 26
I'm sure the teacher has heard much worse from the children
sabrinaacrow 26
And anyway isn't the phrase a pinch of salt?
limitedition 25
Why don't you google it and find out?
whY402Jay 12
In this day and age as well as the people I work with on a frequent basis, these kind of statements usually are investigated. Hope they talk with you before notifying CPS.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
Technically, she wasn't lying.
Wizardo 34
Don't worry kids always misframe stuff, just explain what's up to the person its all good.
perdix 31
Beer is liquid bread, so you were just drinking your toast.
goodoldave 17
Every morning just before breakfast, He don't want no coffee or tea. Just him and his good buddy weiser. That's all he ever needs.
Jharrist89 12
Parents argue, oh well. You can't even say "hi" to your own child in the wrong tone without people point fingers. Don't worry about it op.
twinkiefeets 17
You can always explain what really happened to the teacher if the school makes an issue of it.
DocBastard 40
It could have been MUCH worse - "Daddy was sucking and Mommy said Daddy wasn't doing it right."
noobsatin 19
that's why you shouldn't fight in front of kids. they tell everyone everything.
buddy51 23
"Daddy slurped really loud and made Mommy yell!" Your kid's teacher will never look either of you in the eyes again OP. Never!!