Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML
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Top comments
jpgray1982 0
I don't know if that is good or bad... Seahorses rule!
perdix 31
What a crazy, random simile! What does that even mean? Does he want to be pregnant with your babies? Pack on a few more pounds and he'll compare you to a sea cow. Oh, the Hugh Manatee!
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Comments (70)
Jestress 0
LMAO... not laughing at you. Just at your boyfriends metaphor x]
WordsOfHope 0
the male seahorse carries the children and gives them birth.
vsk8p1mp720 0
? sex on the bumper = bumpy wich made him feel like he was on a horse
NinjaSonic 0
Well I guess that's romantic
pokadottz 0
how is this bad?????
Natalie403 6
Wtf? Lmaooo
bongomanacome 0
Hi Krissy! No one 'makes love' on the bumper of a car. You were getting ******. And your boyfriend likes ******* seahorses. So there's that.
robotofu 0
yeah, that's not "making love." that's *******.
yummcookie 0
Was he high?? This isn't really an FML, more like a WTF :P
ohmandapants 17
you don't "make love" on a bumper. you **** on a bumper. ...well actually no, you **** on the hood or the trunk or the backseat...dunno why you though the bumper was a good place.