Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
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Top comments
jvillan87 5
Back of a pickup while someone else drives next time then?
hiyourcute 0
Why do I picture you paying someone to drive you down that road every night from now on?
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Comments (167)
jvillan87 5
Back of a pickup while someone else drives next time then?
nerdpower_fml 1
Your profile pic scares the bejesus out of me.
anorexicbarbie 8
Your picture is amazing 1! You should go to one of those zombie walks.
jvillan87 5
Why thank you smoking monkey. I keep him in the basement.
emsbitch 0
your profile pic is going to be in my nightmares.
futtbuck101 1
I'll drive my limo into your pothole
jvillan87 5
Real mature 80...
jvillan87 5
Real mature 80...
cocobulla1 4
81, ikr, that was immature and I laughed at ur stupid comment! ><
jvillan87 5
Laughed at which comment 83? You damn kids and your hip young lingo...IKR?
jvillan87 5
Laughed at which comment 83? You damn kids and your hip young lingo...IKR?
PhilMcHawk 7
IKR: I know, right?!
jvillan87 5
Thanks 100. Much obliged.
jvillan87 5
Thanks 100. Much obliged.
kay2kay 1
You are on a double-posting spree!
jvillan87 5
Yeah...it's a bit ridiculous...
jvillan87 5
Yeah...it's a bit ridiculous...
Cookie4U 0
Dude nice zombie... But your eyes look human, they need to be black and void of a soul. Anyway this FML is messed up, I reckon she should have jumped on his gear stick as he drove.... not a literal gear stick I meant his Johnson
adrianblackett 0
WTF ... who doesnt kno what ikr is... lmao
jvillan87 5
This will most likely post twice so bear with me here...I didn't know what IKR means because my life doesn't revolve around Internet slang. So you can take your OMG's, LOL's, FTW's, BFF's, and IKR's and shove them up your ass.
jvillan87 5
116- Thanks for the compliment. I couldn't find a decent pair of black out contacts, so I went with red. I guess it's more of an "infected" look rather than soulless zombie.
deathmetalkill 3
jvillan, what does your shirt say?
livin_plur 0
120 I didn't know until right now, you think I would concidering I'm only 17 but like zombie man said, not everyone automatically knows the meaning of all these ridiculous word shortenings
4thizzle20 0
agreed. I didn't know until now either and I'm 17 as well so I think you(120) should get the hell off the computer once in a while
Suicideseason5 0
fail
EatnBeef 7
toys are nice
Redneck42 0
just like your dads condom
pablo132 3
haha that was ****** funny
RawrNom 0
how the hell is orgasming a fail?! your sex life must suck!
WillKill4Beer 0
Wow!.... Sounds like ol boy isn't putting out, lol.
jvillan87 5
Back of a pickup while someone else drives next time then?
jvillan87 5
what the hell? i didn't post this twice.
jvillan87 5
what the hell? i didn't post this twice.
btnhdude 0
Agahah that's some funny shit
sourgirl101 29
It's funny how your first post is getting thumbs up while this one is the opposite.(:
imacreeper 3
you're in denial.
iloveboyswittats 10
Sounds like you need to tell him what you like. He can't read your mind.
Kawboy 1
agree!
sassypants93 17
Now you know where you should drive more often!
agaba 0
i have that same telescope
rockyraccoon28 8
you know who else has that same telescope? MY MOM!
sassypants93 17
haha it wasn't mine. I was on Isle Royale :)
hiyourcute 0
Why do I picture you paying someone to drive you down that road every night from now on?
imcutefml 0
win
sourgirl101 29
Time to sit on the rinse cycle next. Washing clothes will have new meaning.
sxe_beast 11
Not if you own a fancy environmentally friendly front load washing machine. Our washing machines have a "Perfect Balance" mechanism that prevents them from vibrating. They're super quiet and barely move. Sitting on top of them would provide no more pleasure than sitting on the ground :/
travisrocker 0
I feel as if I just read a short advertisement.
sourgirl101 29
Awe I'm sorry.): but now you have me glad that I never upgraded my antique! lol
enonymous 9
**** the environment I need something that will get me off without me needing to buy it a dinner and a ruffiecolada.
TheresNoEffingwa 7
lmfao YES
hisgirlherboy 5
you killed it so hard it died to death
traze 7
You need a new man or go on more rides down this road. If ask why tell him...**** you that's why.
Got_any_grapes1 4
Fail.
YacL 15
Now ride him like you ride his car instead of how you ride a bull. Maybe that'll help.