Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML
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Top comments
jpgray1982 0
I don't know if that is good or bad... Seahorses rule!
perdix 31
What a crazy, random simile! What does that even mean? Does he want to be pregnant with your babies? Pack on a few more pounds and he'll compare you to a sea cow. Oh, the Hugh Manatee!
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Comments (70)
yakturk43 0
save a horse ride this seahorse??? YDI
davidhasmorefun 0
maybe he felt like he was in Disney land with lil mermaid hoping he doesn't catch sebastien and his crab friends.
Tekno4Lyfe 0
lol, I want tu meet him"P
HeeeB21 0
if he said u rode like a seahorse that means ur top heavy lol
mrbutterz 0
" today I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car..." WTF? anyone else find that odd, get in the car or something, the hood mabey, but the bumper?
lolthatsucks101 0
seriously! i was wondering about that.. wonder where the car was parked..
whyme_everytime 0
*maybe I don't mean to be a bitch, it just bugged me, sorry ^^"
briansdae 0
Hahaha why is that bad haha
Orlinda 2
WTF the back bumper???? are you stupid??? how is that possible
Maverick5762 0
How is that possible??? Idk, are YOU stupid??
dv2010 0
This makes absolutely no sense. I dont get it at all. Hmmm...try to make a point next time
phanatic62 0
I'm pretty sure the phrases "making love" and "on the back bumper of my car" have never before been in the same sentence. Don't kid yourself - you were getting screwed, banged, drilled, nailed or ****** on the back bumper of your car. I doubt this was the place where some wonderful seahorse lovemaking was happening.
quietlytearful 0
how does he know what riding a seahorse feels like?? no offence but, you seriously need a more mature boyfriend..