Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML
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Top comments
jpgray1982 0
I don't know if that is good or bad... Seahorses rule!
perdix 31
What a crazy, random simile! What does that even mean? Does he want to be pregnant with your babies? Pack on a few more pounds and he'll compare you to a sea cow. Oh, the Hugh Manatee!
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Comments (70)
Aytchie 0
I cant figure out what you were doing on the bumper of your car. How do you lead up to that? A romantic picnic on the roof of your car?
beer01 0
Is that supposed to be an FML why? You should be lucky he even complimented that way. At least he didn't say "I felt like I just rode a water buffalo."
musicmaniac925 0
do u have a curly butt like a seahorse?
SaturnE_fml 0
LOL , Cute, but sort of true. To clarify for everyone, she would have put her knees on the back bumper, and pulled them up. This would give her the curly rearend. She would bend over the trunk, he would mount her from behind (making it riding). While doing it, she would either lean back to kiss him, or he'd yank on her hair. See horse shape. Imagination time is fun time.
cmac86 24
you were not making love. on the back of a bumper implies that you had no equal part, so you were just plain ******. and that really makes you sound like trash.
SaturnE_fml 0
Why are people so uptight about a girl having a good time? Is this some Freudian thing? Would your mom keep hiding her bum just when you got a good look at it?
Phallus_fml 0
reply of the month!! lmfao
PottentialFML 0
why thank you kind sir
kaiser_m 0
that's so not making love, sweetie. he obviously didn't consider it making love either seeing as he was talking about riding you. lol @ curly butt.
Jonny_fml 0
This actually made my day!
whooshy 0
this plus all the comments are hilarious. curly butt hahahaha
_whoops 0
YDI for having sex with him in the first place