Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
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Top comments
silly_kitten 9
That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."
zebraface 15
Ditch his ass
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Comments (198)
tecktonik123 0
don't be so mad at least you can get it in? am i right? xD some girls can't even get it in so don't think so negative about it. maybe less talking and spice things up?(:
OsirisFaction_fml 5
Maybe you should take the hint that he just wants sex.
tj4234 36
he's probably joking tbh...
AnneFTW 17
This happens every time and you're still with him? He obviously doesn't care about you, dump him.
sweetheartxoxo88 7
And you're still with him because...?
screamo_neve 12
Time for you to get a new guy. If all he wants is sex than YDI for staying with him.
Talyn_Rahl 4
dump him, dump him NOW. jesus, I don't get girls that go out with total tools and then expect our sympathy when they act like the douchebags they are, want to buy stronger option than You deserve it.
nicko_oz 4
who says he is a douche bag. Who says that they have been intimate only for a few months and that her saying that is way too early. He is probably freaking out at the fact that she said it even. Everyone always goes boo hoo he doesn't say he loves me. Maybe he is a smart guy and doesn't want to say it until he means it. To many people throw words around like boyfriend after only being together a day and i love you after only being together a week to assume there should actually be a connection more than physical at all points is stupid.
Nuahavizu 17
well, if he is smart... and waiting to say it till he means it, he should reply in a 'non douchebaggy' way. the bottom line is, he is being a dick. which, coincidentally, is exactly why she is attracted to him. if he wasnt an ass, she wouldnt be with him.
hImAnAm3iZsUzi3 0
If u like it do it if u don't ditch his fuken azz! :D (((((: fat smile!
Gil2112 0
Honey, who you're "doing" there.... is a douche.
droplets 0
Less humpin', more dumpin' (his ass).