Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML
Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
silly_kitten 9
That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."
zebraface 15
Ditch his ass
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (198)
lilseskie 2
^^so true!
tecktonik123 0
your cute but a d*ck cuz girls just want to tell you and remind you that they love u
deviable 9
Tell him no lovin no humpin.
tecktonik123 0
^^ win
kidcanada 4
Well if it happens every single time either stop complaining or dump him
klong91 7
Tell him lovin before humpin
lunargh 7
DTMFA. Occasionally, it's a stupid joke. But every time? Dude doesn't give a crap, doesn't pay enough attention to realise you don't think it's funny. There are plenty of guys out there who'd actually talk to you, be romantic; do you really want to be with this lad?
BouriblogCom 6
YDI because you didnt make him a sandwich.
EJC94 3
Hahaha that's some funny shit right there
sportschicidee 0
And ya havent dumped him yet?!
bizarre_ftw 22
You shouldn't put up with that!
little_metalbear 0
why are you still with him? i guess he only uses you for the sex if he keeps saying that..