Today, I was leaving college when my yearlong roommate said that he "needed me inside him" before I left. Having just accepted that I’m gay, we had sex. Only later did I learn about the floor-wide bet about me being gay. I still don’t know if my roommate fucked me for fun or for 5 cases of beer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML
Read the room
Today, I finally opened up to my roommates about when I came out as gay to my parents, and how I was beaten and disowned over it. One roommate saw this as the perfect time to hit on me, since he's also gay and thought I was hot, but wasn't sure if I swung that way. Glad he was so invested in me pouring my guts out. FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Today, I walked into a room where my naked "best friend" had set up a romantic scene and attempted to kiss me. It turns out he believed we were in a relationship for the last year and told our entire school. I am 100% straight. This explains why I haven't been able to get laid in months. FML
And today on Maury…
Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML
Served and deserved
Today, my roommate's girlfriend came to visit for a couple of days, and we fucked behind his back. My roommate told me he just tested positive for syphilis. FML
Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML
Some things never change…
Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML
Soul searching
Today my ex-boyfriend came out as gay. My family were like, “It’s about time! Oh honey child, we knew he was a major queen the day you brought him home, that’s why we let you share a room on sleepovers. No way was he going to try anything.” It’s true, we dated for 5 months and I’m still a virgin. FML
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Here's what you do: Tell him you deserve half the beer, then as you walk out, let everyone on your floor overhear you mocking his tiny, tiny, tiny penis. Walk out with your head held high, and find someone worthwhile to share your beer with.
Dave_Davington 34
Doesn't matter, had sex.
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Comments (35)
bluebalistocat 4
Why do you care?
user53658 15
I don't care, it's just an observation.
Davros 12
moving is always such a pain in the ass
Bismuth92 11
If your roommate had sex with you for 5 cases of beer, that just makes him a prostitute. It sucks that he outed you to your whole floor, but I still feel like you came out on top here (pun intended).
Chazzster 32
So your room mate asked you for gay sex and you did it. And now you are outed and embarrassed? Guess what, your room mate is a ***** and a prostitute since he did it for 5 cases of beer. It seems to me that the room mate is the one who should be embarrassed.
nneaves22 11
if he received it was definitely for fun. no straight man would recieve for beer
AcieMcG 21
Why not both?
sandyngethe 7
His behavior is very queer🤔
CreeperReaperX 5
This is the weirdest friend-zone story I’ve heard.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Doesn't matter, had sex
Brony1027 3
well at least you're out of the closet dude.... I still can't bring myself to come out of the closet to my wife as bisexual