Today, I walked into a room where my naked "best friend" had set up a romantic scene and attempted to kiss me. It turns out he believed we were in a relationship for the last year and told our entire school. I am 100% straight. This explains why I haven't been able to get laid in months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 2 years and my best friend of 10 years making out in my bedroom. I stared and when they noticed me, my boyfriend didn’t even bat an eye and suggested we have a threesome. My best friend immediately agreed. FML
Today, my best friend, who I've had serious feelings for for over a year, decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost two years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with, "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up six months ago. Three times. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML
Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML
Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, "But aren't we just friends?" We then sat and watched TV. FML
Today, I was going to walk up to my crush, kiss him, and tell him how I felt. We are already kind of touchy with each other, so I thought he liked me back. I walked up to him and kissed him. He kissed me back, then gently pushed me away. He quietly whispered, "I'm gay." Then walked away. FML
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Top comments
almost_there44 26
How the hell could he assume y'all were dating for a year? Not even a month, but a year? Were there not signs? Did y'all go on "dates?" Did y'all ever kiss? He can't just assume y'all are dating unless he has a reason. Maybe he is mentally unstable.
smc3106 25
100% Strait, George Strait.
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Comments (23)
Bloo2555 22
This is why people should never assume.
Mynxie 26
He had no right to do that. What a horrible friend. He needs to fix that.
smc3106 25
100% Strait, George Strait.
almost_there44 26
How the hell could he assume y'all were dating for a year? Not even a month, but a year? Were there not signs? Did y'all go on "dates?" Did y'all ever kiss? He can't just assume y'all are dating unless he has a reason. Maybe he is mentally unstable.
Suzi_d16 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Stop saying ya’ll.
ThatGuy9679 13
Y'all better keep saying y'all
Yudith 28
Maybe he just came from a remote area. Pizza? I love pizza! Gay Pride? Parades are fun! Dancing? Hell yeah! Hugs between men? That's just normal where I come from. Naked wrestling? Is there another kind?
almost_there44 26
Y'all, y'all, y'all!!! I'm from Texas, that's all we say. Issue? Keep scrolling. Have a great day, y'all.
boopingsnoot 25
Some people are just that delusional, as Forensic Files has taught me. This situation could end really, really badly ya'll
Dave_Davington 34
That is quite an impressive misunderstanding, I have to say.
Suzi_d16 27
*straight
nanxi 30
*character limit
Mirrorgirl 7
I swear to god, everything interesting seems to be happening in Anchorage lately.
acmariner99 25
It’s dark and cold up there right now
Glowworm56 27
Maybe your "best friend" has erotomania. That's a psychological disorder where the affected person believes that someone is in love with them--even though it's rather obvious to everyone else that that's not the case at all.
pjsr 33
If you want to believe that’s why you haven’t gotten laid in months, just keep telling yourself that. Then again, if you REALLY want to get laid, you know where to go.
09051308288 17
Maybe you had given him reasons to assume.