Today, I was leaving college when my yearlong roommate said that he "needed me inside him" before I left. Having just accepted that I’m gay, we had sex. Only later did I learn about the floor-wide bet about me being gay. I still don’t know if my roommate fucked me for fun or for 5 cases of beer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML
Today, I finally opened up to my roommates about when I came out as gay to my parents, and how I was beaten and disowned over it. One roommate saw this as the perfect time to hit on me, since he's also gay and thought I was hot, but wasn't sure if I swung that way. Glad he was so invested in me pouring my guts out. FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Today, I walked into a room where my naked "best friend" had set up a romantic scene and attempted to kiss me. It turns out he believed we were in a relationship for the last year and told our entire school. I am 100% straight. This explains why I haven't been able to get laid in months. FML
Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML
Today, my roommate's girlfriend came to visit for a couple of days, and we fucked behind his back. My roommate told me he just tested positive for syphilis. FML
Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML
Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML
Today my ex-boyfriend came out as gay. My family were like, “It’s about time! Oh honey child, we knew he was a major queen the day you brought him home, that’s why we let you share a room on sleepovers. No way was he going to try anything.” It’s true, we dated for 5 months and I’m still a virgin. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Here's what you do: Tell him you deserve half the beer, then as you walk out, let everyone on your floor overhear you mocking his tiny, tiny, tiny penis. Walk out with your head held high, and find someone worthwhile to share your beer with.
Dave_Davington 34
Doesn't matter, had sex.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (35)
QueenAfrodite 8
Still had sex though lol. High five.
lisyaorancrazed 16
Why not for fun AND 5 cases of beer?
KingAdrock 16
I have to say, I have this strange feeling that it won't be YOU who'll be the laughingstock of the floor in this story... "So, you know that bet about X being gay?" "Yeah... why, what happened?" "I let him f*ck me in the ass, he's totally gay!" *Everyone laughs* "Wait, wait... are you serious?" "Yeah man, pay up." "You... let him do you in the butt? For reals?" "Yes! Quit stalling, give me that beer!" "(Stifled laugh) Ok, ok. Here's your beer. You clearly won.. IN THE END!" *Everyone except butt-sore outer laughs*
shannon2348 14
well even if he got beer he wouldn't have done it if he didn't want to.