Today, I was kicked out of a Family Dollar. My mom thought it would be fun to press all the buttons on the musical ceramic cathedrals so they would all play at the same time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML
Today, I got kicked out of my favorite pub. I yelled at the group behind me for being annoying. They were extremely irritating, singing songs and cheering, but the manager decided to kick me out instead. FML
Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML
Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML
Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML
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Top comments
gusgus36 5
your mom sounds like a pretty cool person...lol
RedPillSucks 33
You should have pretended to not be with her. That's what I do when my wife starts something in a store.
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Comments (71)
xVictoriaDreamz 0
Lawl(:
gusgus36 5
your mom sounds like a pretty cool person...lol
IcyHell 0
she sounds smart too!
12596 0
a lot of recen crazy mom stuff
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
if by cool you mean juvenile and annoying, then yes she's cool. a responsible person realizes that in addition to annoying everyone else in the store for your own personal amusement, by pushing those buttons, you are also running down the batteries for the person that actually pays money for the item. great role model mom
BadasS14 0
35- STFU!! i hate it when people start preaching in fml... js
BrazilianRa1n 0
same here
justj2010 0
35- Debbie Downer- it's not that serious.
gusgus36 5
35. I was being sarcastic when I said "cool."
DocBastard 40
FMLiest - you realize that this was a Family Dollar. I don't expect any of the battery-powered anythings at Family Dollar to last for more than 18 minutes. Gusgus - I think FMLiest's sarcasmometer was turned off temporarily. The situation has been rectified.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
yes, I figured you were being sarcastic by calling her "cool". I was trying to be one of those people that doesn't get the sarcasm, and lectures the poster out of ignorance. I figured that the more over-the-top serious that I sounded, the easier it would be for people to realize what I was doing. guess not. oh well. so, does that mean the people who told me to STFU, actually DID think that the mom was "cool" for getting kicked out of a family dollar?? whatev. also it is amazingly hippocritical and ironic to Lecture me about not lecturing people on this site.. dipshit.
farhil 14
Nice recovery (did you catch my sarcasm?)
RedPillSucks 33
You should have pretended to not be with her. That's what I do when my wife starts something in a store.
MissErikaHart 0
u should have her back. I would b too mad
ktbird 0
Lol Red as a spouse of a man with a bad temper I totally know what you mean.
zombunny 2
They kicked you out for that? Lame. I do that in stores all the time and the most I get is a few weird looks from other customers. There's a reason those things have "Try me" buttons.
kiwi00 0
yeah... she was just trying all the 'try me' buttons!
justsomgirl 4
you should probably read #2's replies. #35 speaks right to you.
zombunny 2
While it's a shame that #35 has a permanent stick up his ass, I really do not give a crap.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
#35 was attempting (perhaps poorly) to mock the type of person that doesn't get the sarcasm in a comment. but I think people who didn't get the sarcasm in #2's comment thus did not get the mockery in #35's comment. for a better explanation read #54 under #2's thread. or don't....
thatonename 7
this is turning into a very confusing thread...
illmatic2 16
I bet you got a real KICK out of that!
MissErikaHart 0
HA...! HA...! HA...! fuuuuuunny
shaymae_fml 0
that's really not funny.... like at all...
zombiebombatron 6
Like..omg like that's not funny..like at all. Omg . Oh please, don't comment if you're gonna be a little girl about it.
hidingoutt7 0
Your life is ****** ,because you got kicked out of family doller. There's like a bunch more just go to a new one and btw op that's a retarded reason to be kicked out.
catatonicsleep 17
maybe lots of people had done the same thing and the staff were sick of it...
hidingoutt7 0
Dollar* sorry
Bluedoh 3
YDI for shopping at family dollar
celerysticks381 0
..what is family dollar..??
Jimboom 12
One good turn deserves another. Push her buttons in return. *hint, one of her buttons is right in the middle of her face, the second is up in her ovaries*
TheDrifter 24
is that second button best accessed from the front, back or bottom?
Jimboom 12
straight through the middle with a falcon punch is best. ;-)
mintcar 10
Haha, well get over it.