Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML
Today, I went to the casino and put $500 into a game and lost it all. I tried another $100 and won it all back, plus some. Instead of walking out ahead, I kept trying to hit bigger and ended up losing all my rent money. Rent is due and now I can’t pay it. FML
Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML
Today, after playing numerous games of poker against my friend, and him telling me that I'm the best poker player he's ever met, I went out and played for real money. I got totally destroyed, lost all of my money, and was laughed out of the building. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML
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Top comments
AScic1 3
You're a swearing, iPhone using elderly person?
tpike1296 11
Well, you'll need a holy **** to feel better after this.
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Comments (77)
AScic1 3
You're a swearing, iPhone using elderly person?
Mahkymahk 0
tourettes is a bitch
Tuesdaythe10th 11
HOLY **** ! That's mildly humorous.
NeatNit 33
What makes you think 'iPhone-using'?
ChiddyBANGr 13
LOOOL! holy ****, that's epic :')
iSitt 0
I was at bingo once. bored me to insanity.
IscoreOnU 19
Hahahahahaha I agree this ones awesome!
tpike1296 11
Well, you'll need a holy **** to feel better after this.
lilmisslovely13 15
win ^ lol
Sinvudyo 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Watch your language hahahaha ... FYL!
california283 6
was he kicked out for swearing or because he got "excited"
unvmesucka 0
Yelling that infront of all those other people and causing a scene in a bingo hall is worth more than $50 dollars anyway. Lol
dreamering 16
Next time don't play in church.
Carpy 8
Was it a church bingo night or something? Only uptight church people with sticks up their asses would get so easily offended by a stupid word.
MusicLover369 4
oh haha very funny. NOT!!!!! stop being such a dick to people with religions.
shoecrazy 5
9 you're an ass
lakeybalboa 0
lol church lovers
bluegoldfish 7
not really, lots of people get offended by swearing. and the whole "it's just a word, how can it hurt you?" argument is ridiculous, try applying that logic to phrases like "i'm pregnant", "i'm leaving you for my ex", "you're adopted", or even "i love you" and see how far you get. so yes, lots of people other than religious fanatics are bothered by swearing for reasons other than its religious significance. and before the religion argument gets out of hand, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs EVEN IF you happen not to agree with some of them. and while religious fanatics are irritating, and the ones who expect that everyone should be of their faith and refuse to respect others' right to an opinion are even more so, there's nothing more annoying than a condescending atheist who thinks religion is for idiots and anyone who disagrees with him/her is stupid.
iluvhobos 5
I agree #9. because it is JUST A WORD. It is the person's problem if they take offense to it.
lilmisslovely13 15
73 did you really not see what 66 wrote?
iluvhobos 5
83, yes, and I don't give a shit. On a level, that person is right, however, I still believe words are words, and people need to relax about them because that is how the world is-swears, offensive derogatory terms, they're all over the place, and people (especially those over 21/18 depending on the place) should not be offended by someone yelling the word '****' in shock and excitement.
monzach 5
people don't get offended by words, they get offended by it's meaning, and furthermore it's disrespectful to swear anywhere in public regardless if it's a church or not
bluegoldfish 7
ugh 83 i know its like nobody even TRIES to read anymore. and then she tried to backpedal by saying she disagreed, ah i dont know, why do i even bother????????
Bontoi 2
#66 You are my hero.
sourgirl101 29
I bet 2nd place was happy you have a potty mouth.(:
EvilPotato 15
don't worry OP it's just $50
tnlander 20
Seriously, Bingo? Were you visiting your grandmother at the home or was it part of some court ordered community service?
Rainbow_dumpster 28
13, haven't you forgot that you can win REAL money when you play BINGO? I used to play bingo and won $500 easy. BINGO is not just for the elderly, it's for EVERYONE who wants to play and win cash.