Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them sent me a screenshot of an error message on a porn site, asking if I was having the same problem. I guess I wasn't being so quiet after all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
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Top comments
StiffPvtParts 43
********** in front of them to show dominance.
Batkid217 14
that sounds like a bonding experience
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Comments (34)
Spencyy 18
Well did you help him?
pjsr 33
Roommates that jerk together stick together!
Batkid217 14
that sounds like a bonding experience
Kiernan151 25
more like a bondage experience
gratunka 11
tell em the error message was what you were flogging your mouse with.
joeyl2008 29
were you having the same problem?
StiffPvtParts 43
********** in front of them to show dominance.
Rawrshi 25
Synchronized fappage. Make it a competition!
MariaGiovanni 25
Haha reminded me of this movie called Y TU Mamá También and there's two best friends who do far competitions and at one point they lay on diving boards and see who can ahem shoot farthest into the pool. OP you can do it!
Rawrshi 25
******* brilliant.
olpally 33
Well that's awkward... Just ignore it and finish the job. Lol.
PhoenixChick 26
I guess I always thought dudes tried to ignore other dudes fapping sounds. I must have known more delicate dudes.
Tripartita 45
Maybe they know about your huge error message fetish and were trying to help you out, OP.
Lalala579121 28
The white screen of death.
alex_gen 39
Well, you're in your room, alone. You're either fapping or sleeping.
Kiernan151 25
not necessarily true, I'm in my room 70% of the time I'm home and my roommates know its because i watch a shot ton of netflix