Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML
Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML
Today, my dad and I had an argument. Then we went outside to shovel the snow out of the driveway. I heard him yelling and figured he was just yelling at me some more, so I turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear him anymore. Turns out he had fallen, cracked a rib, and needed help up. FML
Today, both my dad and boyfriend are serious weightlifters, plus my dad boxed in the army, and my boyfriend is a mixed martial artist. Ever since they met, they've been circling each other like bears in the forest trying to work out which is bigger and meaner before the fight even begins. They're both so childish. FML
Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, my son is such an idiot that he forgot he invited both his girlfriends to my brother's funeral. They started a punch-up over him and everyone ended up joining in since we're a very argumentative family. People got arrested and in the end both girls agreed to share my son, who was unconscious. FML
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Top comments
rnayyyyy 12
I'd actually like to see who would take out who first...
onlychildFTW 34
Why drive them? They are tough guys obviously. They can drive themselves since thy are so tough.
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Comments (63)
onlychildFTW 34
Why drive them? They are tough guys obviously. They can drive themselves since thy are so tough.
GhostFox 34
Because two possibly-concussed, possibly-woozy, and definitely distracted men do not need to operate metal machines weighing several hundred pounds through roads occupied by innocent bystanders. That's discounting any possible broken bones that could complicate the issue further still.
NeatNit 33
Forget driving, they can just run all the way to the hospital since they have so much strength!
GhostFox 34
******* hell, point out that people shouldn't drive themselves to the hospital after they been in a (very likely brutal) fight and people get offended at the idea. Is not wanting people to accidentally commit vehicular manslaughter offensive now, or are the people voting me down allergic to common sense and courtesy?
tygerarmy 35
Probably because you answered a rhetorical question, and no one, not even number 1 suggested concussed people should drive, just that the OP should be little such macho men if they need help after fighting over their pride.
Scotth901 22
Why the hell are people downrating this? It's sound logic.
Iamnotfat 16
#1 was being sarcastic and you took it literally, that's why the down vote. Your logic makes complete sense otherwise.
Brandi_Faith 34
Don't give them any ideas 1, they'll probably want to drive themselves!
syki 22
Charge tickets.
syki 22
Or charge admission. Or sell tickets. Mai Inglysh iz gud.
weird_adult 27
this is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
nikki465 14
"Round 1. FIGHT!"
wanted_2_want 40
Take bets.
psychopolarbear 28
Post the video. This seems entertaining
rnayyyyy 12
I'd actually like to see who would take out who first...
cheshireau 26
I just want to watch it in general.
TheNewGuy03 29
As a fighter myself, I would be keen to see this. I have to assume the MMA dude won, unless the Muay Thai guy has some stellar takedown defense or KO'd the uncle.
JanaTheWolf 16
I agree. OP, we need a follow up :)
Brandi_Faith 34
But who did you put your money on op? That's the real question.
Chloe555_fml 27
*Mortal Kombat voice* Round 1.... Fight!
TacticalBacon 10
Time to pop some popcorn and let the show begin!
thefmlman2011 37
As much as a bsd situation this is, it's actually pretty funny. But record it, and stick it on YouTube.
ThatHorse 15
Better yet, record it and sell copies for money. Could easily make a few hundred off of that.
zainman13 26
This is gold!!! I wish my dad and uncle knew muay thai and Mma!!! Heck this could end up as a fml for my kids!
supr_sexy 9
fight fight fight fight.....
weird_adult 27
i want to know who wins...
GhostFox 34
Hopefully they don't hurt eachother too badly and after a "winner" is decided, they drop the matter. FYL for having to deal with them posturing like teenagers overcompensating through aggressiveness.
SavasTazi 0
Believe it or not, it's probably not over-compensating. It's just a means of conflict resolution. Learn to enjoy the violence. Haha
GhostFox 34
As someone who spent over a decade in fear of being beaten by their foot and a half taller and hundred-fifty pounds heavier brother, I don't think I will ever find violence amusing. If they can drop the matter after a winner is declared, and accept that decision as the winning one and not dredge the issue back up, it's fine that they used it as a means of deciding. Or is as fine as setting the victory condition as something that usually risk brain injury can be. If they can't let it go after one of them does "win," it's just a ******* stupid waste of resources for the sake of posturing.
SavasTazi 0
We have lived different lives. Hah
pasupathymuthu 16
Clash of the Titans. It would be a fight to the finish!!