Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
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Top comments
curzy 6
assault. file a police report Lol.
Jewelofagal 2
Don't know why you went along with the Mother's "evil giant" comment. It's not good to cater to people who insult you. Should this ever happen again, consider saying with a stone-cold facial expression, "Pardon? I'm not a giant and I'm not evil."
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Comments (157)
generalfubar 0
damn...that was her reaction to you scaring her kid?!? I wonder what the reaction is when you try to kiss a guy??
Fentown_fml 4
... How do you mime something like that? Also- did the kid laugh or not?
Flipflops4ever 0
First u eavesdropped on her conversation then u try to scare her kid. No wonder she freaked out. U deserve being slapped, u r lucky she didn't scream this unknown guy is scaring my baby - u didn't have a good explanation if ppl came to her aid...
yomomasmoma 0
she insulted him u douche you're saying its ok for people to talk shit as long as they dont kno rite?
greatnt249 0
Kids aren't exactly known for making quiet observations, so I doubt this was eavesdropping. The kid says something out loud within the OP's earshot; OP recognizes himself in the description and turns around to see if it was, indeed, him being talked about. That's not eavesdropping; anyone would do the same if they thought they were being talked about, especially if it's about an obvious or unflattering feature.
numnut 3
I really don't get how people can think you are wrong.. WHAT on earth is that mother teaching her child??????? sheeessshhh you can't go saying nasty things about people to your kid, how mean, poor kid it's going to grow up to be SOOOOOOOOOOO polite and respectful.
iltby 3
I think that's called assault.
Mustardnight 3
yeah i totally agree with idiots telling him to sue her. That kid doesn't need a house or money anyways. his mom deserves to lose everything
r6_fml 4
pink shirts, why don't you see them on star trek?
0opsie 6
How do you mime an evil giant? Did you pretend to attack her kid like grabbing at him & snarling or something?
BoyBeyond 0
You should of punched her in the face. Then tell her son his moms a bitch and leave.
Airch 9
I'd have slapped her back. Stuck up prat.
satanic_fml 13
slap her back