Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML
Today, a customer complained he never got his sandwich, even though I put it in the oven, dressed it up and served it to him. When I went to clear his table off, I saw the sandwich basket. We had to give him his money back. FML
Today, while working as a line cook, one of the servers sincerely asked me, "What sauce goes on a chicken bacon ranch sandwich?" I replied, a little incredulously I'll admit, "…Ranch." She then totally lost her cool and went full-blown adult temper tantrum because I was, "mean to her." FML
Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML
Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML
Today, a woman came in to order lunch. She ordered a sandwich then asked for me to configure it precisely to her complicated desires. This took a whole 5 minutes, during the lunch rush. When I told her the cost, she decided it was too expensive and cancelled her order. FML
Today, a woman threw a sandwich at me, told me to go back to "fucktard island" and demanded to see my manager. All because the mayonnaise sandwich she ordered, shockingly enough, had mayonnaise in it. FML
Today, I was reduced to tears and called a "useless fat bitch" by a customer I was serving. She didn’t realize that the steak fajitas she’d ordered had steak in them. She said she was a vegetarian. She failed to mention it, but apparently it was "my fault" because I “should have known." FML
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
The things people will do for extra bacon.
erickk89 0
Hahha did u tell her you were watching her the whole time?!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (127)
BallisticHalo3 11
Hi
CareFace 16
Hello. What a pig! (no pun intended) Mugshot->PermBan.
AllSoul 23
Howdy. One could call her pig ignorent? No?
StoryOfTheYear 15
The things people will do for extra bacon.
kdahrouj 6
Bacon gives you aids
StoryOfTheYear 15
You're not supposed to wrap it around the dick, stupid. If you had just used a condom that hopefully wouldn't have happened.
JoshTheMaggot 8
That was the same thing that was said to 14's Dad..
redbluegreen 41
Try J & D's Baconlube™. Now you can have your meat and eat it too!
DaKillaMafia 2
Stupidity gives you aids.
blackheart24 10
Bacon is the best food in the world. Nuff said.
WorldRallyXtreme 9
63 - except for pigs
nava1210 12
Yummmy, bacon.
kdahrouj 6
So does your mom
make_me_smile 4
ikr #63!!!
mahendra12 3
hi
mahendra12 3
hiiii
nerobluerose 10
That woman is secretly the dog from that dog food commercial that tastes like bacon. Sorry I can't remember the brand.
baconstrips 12
63 damn straight it is!
Gvfell 9
'Murica
skitzofunia88 8
That swine!
thatgirlinoregon 21
What a pig, trying to hog all the bacon like that!
pedosmurf 7
She's eating her brotherns
Zoh_Aubrey 8
Swine, my brother?
erickk89 0
Hahha did u tell her you were watching her the whole time?!
bustub2 8
Technically, what she did was stealing. She intended to receive more bacon through deception, a bacon burglary!
thatgirlinoregon 21
@41: so you're saying she purloined the pork?
419 0
If he told her that she would probably just start complaining on how he was watching her
maronofhearts 19
And? What's the problem with that you should always watch customers especially if they are stealing bacon that shit isn't cheap. Complaining an employee is watching yours like complaining they have security cameras as long as they aren't doing it for pleasure or some creepy way he has every right to watch her bacon stealing ass
SeemsToFail 0
Shes one messed up lady
ninjuh_wingman 29
That sucks but in her defense, bacon is delicious.
capnbzarr 43
You're right, it is delicious. So let's all go try to steal some! (jk, in case you can't tell)
klimpomppp 9
*spoons the bacon*. PROBLEM ?
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It looks like she PORKING for some more bacon. (oh god that was terriable)
skitzofunia88 8
At least you admit it
ThatOneCanadian 0
hey, sometimes the worst puns are best puns.
RacerX1695 1
Your spelling was also terrible.
llamafish 25
Terriable - capable of being terried
RabidLimaBeans 16
I was thinking terrier. . .
deviable 9
You know you can call her on it right?
CoreyC07 10
Some may call her crazy. I call her a genius.
capnbzarr 43
It was an attempted (and apparently failed) theft by deception. For it to be an act of genius, she would have had to at least make sure the waiter wasn't watching while she ate the bacon. Also, if you pull this type of shit at a restaurant, don't be surprised if they spit in your food. People who abuse people working in the service industry are the scum of the earth. Please don't applaud them.
scottieclark 4
75. Amen
LouisianaBob 9
I would have asked if she had checked in her mouth near the other piece she just ate.
Xythenol 6
Should've called her on her bullshit.