Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was in the supermarket when I saw a little boy trying to reach for something on the top shelf. I went over to him and asked if his mom knew where he was. The boy turned around. He was actually a very angry midget. FML
Parent #1 of the Year
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
No touching!
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Reported
Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when a small boy started looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kid's face look like that"? He said it so loud, the three tables next to us turned and looked. FML
Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML
Sneaky
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
People of Walmart
Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML
Top comments
curzy 6
assault. file a police report Lol.
Jewelofagal 2
Don't know why you went along with the Mother's "evil giant" comment. It's not good to cater to people who insult you. Should this ever happen again, consider saying with a stone-cold facial expression, "Pardon? I'm not a giant and I'm not evil."
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Comments (157)
2qewl4u 0
I would have done what 66 said. I hate it when parents or so negatively over-protective.
cardin_06 3
Why
Godless26 1
@23...welsh OR from wales? same thing dickshit
coolkidswin 0
hahhahahahahahaahhah slap the kid silly lol jk
tygerarmy 35
I first read it with the mom and kid backwards, which would'ce made more sense. OP you're awesome. And I pictured takin' giant steps in place while makin claw/T-Rex hands. The woman is a bitch, callin' you an evil giant can be an insult. If was just playin' with her kid she's a bigger bitch for hittin' you. I hope you didn't let her get away with it.
varkey 7
slap the stupid bitch back. she insulted you (you could definitely take that as an insult) and then when you did something that was not even harming anybody, she slapped you. She totally would have deserved that one. FYL Or, if you didn't want to get in trouble (because people are sexist and they'd all get mad that you hit her), press charges for assault. that would make her life an even worse hell.
ShinexD 0
wow I would have slap her back
devilyy 2
The little kid laughed alright :).Just not with you,at you :) I don't get why everyone is saying "Sue the bitch,slap the bitch back",she just slapped him,she didn't stab him with a fork or something..I'm not saying that what she did was right and that I approve of it but still...Lighten up people,jeez.
greatnt249 0
Try getting slapped in the face for responding to an insult against you and then see how you feel about "lightening up." I don't advocate hitting her back, but there's no such thing as "just" getting slapped.
_whisper_ 0
Mother's can be so over protective... I guess that's there job.
thatsrugged 2
You shouda slapped that C U N T right back.... Fe fy fo fum a I saw a evil giant slap a bitch